Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Fuck. There was something I was supposed to do today...

Ricky Williams: ...but what?!


Ricky: Hey Rasheed. Sheed!


Rasheed: Sup.

Ricky: Wasn't there something we were supposed to do today?

Rasheed: I don't know, man. Like what?

Ricky: Like something we do every day, but for some reason it's more important today?

Rasheed: Shit I don't know. Thinking's hard. Fuck it, I'm getting into a hot tub.


Ricky: Dammit. This is hard. Hey Mark. MARK!


Mark Stepnoski: Grunh?

Ricky: Maybe you can help me out. I feel like there was something I was supposed to do today, but my memory is suffering from short-term loss.

Stepnoski: Mughufungh Rupufungunuh.

Ricky: K thanks man. [under his breath] What a weirdo.

Stepnoski: [enraged] GREH HERRR DLAAA!

Ricky: SHIT! NATE! NATE YOU GOTTA HELP!


Nate Newton: [through labored breathing] Suuuuuunnnnn Chiiiiiiips. You make my daaaaayyyyaayyyyyyyy.

Ricky: Well, that wasn't helpful. Randy. Hey Randy!


Randy Moss: AY MANG! HOWDABOUTA TOKA MANG JUNOWHATISAYING?!

Ricky: Eesh. Whatever the fuck that meant. Maybe Kareem knows. [calls Kareem Abdul-Jabbar]


Kareem: [giggling] Hello? Hey. Hey shh, quit it. [composed] Sorry Ricky, I'd like to help you, but myself and Former President Bush are at an important meeting with the joint chiefs. [laughter erupts on the phone]

George W. Bush: [in the background]
Yeah, we're meeting on the moon, bitch!

Ricky: Jeez, some people have no phone etiquette.


Tim Lincecum: I've got an idea, we could call Michael Phelps!

Ricky: God no. ANYTHING but that. Fuck it, this is hard. I'm just gonna go get high.




Happy 4/20 everybody! There's myriad athletes I left out. Throw your favorite stoner athlete in the comments section.

8 comments:

  1. Was he ever caught with weed? I have no doubts that he has smoked the proverbial herb, but I think only cocaine is what has been documented.

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  2. Josh Howard
    Bode Miller
    Chris Webber
    Isaiah Rider
    Bob Burnquist (not sure if skaters count)
    Edgar Davids (actually happens to have glaucoma but is also Dutch so...)
    Tug McGraw--pitcher, father of Tim
    Asked if he preferred grass over Astroturf, McGraw replied: "I don't know -- I never smoked Astroturf."

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  3. Bill Walton

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89TNgbs38ds

    How anyone saw this video and thought he would be a good commentator is beyond me.

    Also the Tennessee basketball team because I hate Bruce Pearl.

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  4. Oh yeah, it was definitely inferred gonja-usage for Matt Jones. The Booger Sugar was his downfall, but we all know that this marijuana, or "weed" as the kids call it, is a "Gateway" Drug.

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  5. PS - Allen Houston sighting! FTW!

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  6. Bill Walton is an intergalactic hero the likes of which the world will never see again.

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