Monday, August 25, 2008

McWuncler's All Americans: August 2008

To clear up any confusion, McWuncler's is a fast food chain originated by the grandfather of this man.

This month's McWuncler All American is Miladin Kovacevic! Sure, he may not be "American." In fact, he's Serbian. But, he was until recently a basketball player for Binghamton University in New York, and even that doesn't take away from the fact that we are very, very proud of him.

Miladin's story begins back on May 4th. He was hanging at a club, when some drunk-ass pervert starts spitting all sorts of nasty game at his homeboy's girl. Like in all clubs, shit escalated quickly, with our boy Miladin backing his friend's hand and assisting in the lesson teaching to the offender. The consequences of his actions begin shortly thereafter.

As it turns out, the 6'9" 280 lb. Serb stomped the 5'9" 130 lb. skeezy scammer into a coma. Of course, the American "media" reports that it is a coma, but they also report that the victim of the natural recourse of his own stupid actions can yell and cry out. I thought coma meant eternal sleep, guess you can be fully conscience and still be in a coma if CNN chooses to spin the story so.

Because of the beating, Miladin and other associates were arrested, and they posted bail. During the arrest (under charges of 'Gang Violence' no less), Miladin had to surrender his passport. While most other wack ballers would wait around for arraignment, our man got his hustle on. He busted on down to the Serbian Embassy, and got a new passport expedited for him. Then, faster than you can blink morse code saying "you got the feeding tube and catheter tube mixed up again" he was back bangin' in Belgrade.

Back in the home country, United States authorities tried to have Miladin extradited, to no avail. According to Miladin's mom, "My son is not running away from justice, he's running away from injustice." A bit repetitive, but you get where we're coming from: Serbia.

Miladin's Serb homeslices have been doing him right, too. Serbia recalled the two people that helped him out (criminally) in New York. They have also refused Condoleeza Rice's requests for extradition, and pretty much anything else she wants. Finally, Miladin even got signed by a pro team over there. Can I get a Hallelujah?!

This story starts out with all the makings for the cliche class-warfare stories that perpetuate themselves throughout our childhood in films such as "The Little Giants" and "The Mighty Ducks." Of course, in the real world, the scruffy band of loveable misfits gets arrested and sued when they issue a beatdown on the rich, fratty substance-abusing offender.

So in summary, we salute you, Miladin Kovacevic for all the right reasons. You stood up to the man, then whooped his ass. Then you stood up to the man again by running your happy ass back to Serbia, where you are now paid to hoop. Loyalty to the bros, sticking it to the man, and paper stacking. This is what it is all about here at GRH.

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