The Adventures of Dogus Balbay in America

This Week: DOGUS IS A LONGHORN NO MORE

Dogus has been here for too long. In Turkey, he was highly-regarded prospect. Here, he is bionic-legged joke. They mock his shooting. They say he is slow and useless. If Dogus so slow, why is he regarded as defensive specialist? Huh? Dogus ask you that!

The season went well enough. Dogus won more games against the hated 12 than he ever had before. After the disaster of last season, the doubters doubted Dogus and the Longhorns. It felt good to beat expectations instead of failing to live up to them.

But the feeling was fleeting. After being good, suddenly the Longhorns played bad. They lost to the Huskers of Corn, from Nebraska. Dogus chuckled, because "husking your corn" means something TOTALLY different in Turkey. But that's for another time.

The Longhorns limped into the tournament figuratively. Dogus limped in literally and figuratively. The Longhorns always fail in the tournament, Dogus thought. Dogus was right.

People tell Dogus Arizona Wildcats are good. They tell Dogus that the referees were the ones who failed, not the Longhorns. Dogus knows better. He knows the Longhorns are no good in March. This doesn't bother him. Dogus is gone from this place of drunkenness and wanton fellatio.

Dogus will miss this, but he is ready to return to the land that made him a hero. He will pick up where Allen Iverson left off.

U Mad?