Soon. Soon there will be football.

This commercial perfectly encapsulates every one of my Mondays. But soon. Soon there will be football at the end of it.

The World Cup is near, my friends.

Cristiano: "Why so glum, friendo? You no like me fucking you wife? Look, I make cool. I fuck you too."


I can barely contain my excitement. The World Cup is one of my favorite sporting events, but unlike the NFL or NBA playoffs, I have to wait four fucking years to watch it. Instead of waxing poetic about how it's a great game and Americans are stupid for not watching it, I'm just going to pass along whatever I come across in a series of quickies.

First up, David Beckham + Snoop Dogg + Daft Punk + one of the guys from Oasis + one of the guys from Knocked Up + Star Wars.


Also, Shakira sings the theme song for the World Cup. Because nothing says South Africa like Colombia.


Now I hope that at least some of you will give half a shit about the games this weekend. They will at least be fun, regardless of the outcome. Plus, America plays England. I can't wait for that. My advice would be to find the nearest "pub" to go watch. You'll be able to find these things pretty easily. They are the places where you try to drink as much beer as you normally do, but either get too full or run out of money before you're properly shitcanned.

Until later, biotches.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

Fix your beer goggles, Shawn Marion. Slumpbusters won't get you out of the first round.

WOOO! BOUT FUCKING TIME IT'S FRIDAY! This week has fucking draaaaaaaaged.

First up, some fake-ass dudes shoot hoops from airplanes.


Next up, remember to not fuck with deer if you're a fat tub of goo.


Chelsea FC won the Premier League and the FA Cup. They celebrated. Someone threw John Terry a beer, so he could slam it.


Well, I'm a Simpsons nerd, so this was pretty cool to me.


And for no real reason, here's one of my favorite commercials of all time. Too dope.


Get amped, bitches. Champions League Final is tomorrow. Boom.


It's not like we needed more reason to like Rasheed Wallace, but here he is doing the Carlton dance from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.


50 Cent found the new hottest rapper. Here he is introducing him.


I know this has blown shit up on the Internet, but it's worth putting up here. Dale Peterson and his chief-of-staff Winchester are going straight to the top.


Here's something to freak you out and ruin your afternoon.


OK! THAT'S IT FOR TODAY, CHUMPSTYLES! I'M THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! GET YOUR ASSES OUTSIDE! WOOOO! CAPSLOCK WEEKEND! ENGAGE!

Nike Futbol and the World Cup

We knew that Nike Football was going to bring the pain in commercial form for the World Cup. I had seen tidbits earlier, and today got treated to the video above.

It's good It's no Take It To The Next Level or Freestyle, but what is? I personally love Rooney with the beard. He should rock that. Also, they couldn't get a Brazilian besides Ronaldinho? You know, a Brazilian that's actually playing in the World Cup?

Thoughts? Likes? Dislikes? Comments section.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

Toine's in jail. Can't shoot his way out of this slump. However, it did offer an interesting look into his mentality. A cold streak only made him try harder.

Yes. Too many funbags have been late of late. This one is HERE. RIGHTFUCKINGNOW.

So let's go!

Creepy kids have nothing to do with Easter Candy, but that doesn't stop the rock.


Here we have the world's fastest. At everything. Prepare to feel really, really slow.


Freerunning. It's like a sport, except with no competition.


I know people are still shaken up over Michael Jackson dying, but I really expect better out of Shaq.


Lil' Penny and Gheorghe Muresan. This was back when Sportscenter meant something.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

NOTE: For your next party invite list, remember this picture. Daniel Gibson = red hats and fun. Sash Pavlovic = no fun at all.

Yes. YES. SHIT YEAH!

The blogosphere can kiss my ass, because I'm leaving the earth for a while, taking a sojourn into the ocean. But before that happens, we must get to the links.

First and foremost, if you didn't watch last week's Champion's League Final, you clearly fucked up. Not that it was anything that spectacular, but, you know...


While umbrellas are gay (Thanks, KSK!), umbrellas in hurricane tunnels are nothing but fun.


Political ideologies aside, GRH will give $100 if we can get photographic proof of these guys getting beaten. Republicans and rappers agree on many issues (having guns, getting money, hating gay people), but this video misses the boat completely.


Dwight Howard has reason to be pissed over how much special treatment the Cavs got. In the words of The Game, "Don't you ever leave me out the top ten, you fucking bastards."


Dear TechnoViking,
The gauntlet has been thrown down. The question is now you and what army?


Holy crap this is an awesome funbag. See y'all sorry sacks next week.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

It's always good for people that hate the Chicago Bears to see their brand new quarterback like this.

Memorial Day! Yes! Sunburns, burnt burgers, arrests, and no shirts are the menu, all the while knowing that there is no work on Monday.

If you couldn't get any more jacked up, here's this.


I know that keyboard cat is borderline played out, so we might as well put one up before it's too cliché.


Then there's whatever the hell this is.

Midgets Vs. Mascots Unrated Trailer - Funny videos are here

Note: If you ever get mugged, apply a sleeper hold.

Watch Mugger gets Pwned and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

Free Darko and Jurassic 5's Charlie 2na make for one hell of a commercial.


Ok. Fabuloso. I'm ready for a 50% longer weekend, with all the hilarity it deserves. GO!

Another Best Sports Commercial

This one might take the cake.

Seemingly, Guy Ritchie is the world's most famous ad director, because that's all he really does these days.

Nike tapped Ritchie to do this ad (they are essentially a series, but the several different parts make up the whole), a first-person account of the highlights when one makes an astronomical rise in the land of European Soccer. In addition to several famous footballers (Ronaldinho, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, Rafa Marquez, etc.) and one famous coach (Arsenal's Arsene Wenger), by watching this commercial, you get to experience the highs and lows of America's least favorite sport.

A couple of things I like are Cesc Fabregas kissing the viewer, the double thumbs-up at the pool party, the fact that the main character is Dutch, and of course the cyclical nature of the ad in it's entirety.

This commercial is so fucking cool it warrants more than one viewing.

Favorite Commercials of All Time, Vol. 1

When you think about great commercials, you have to think about great commercials involving athletes. This one is fabulous for several reasons. First, the grainy video and sound quality add to the fake authenticity. The 70's styles involved are hilarious. Finally, the character of Dr. Funk. Vince Carter is summoned to help his losing squad by the chanting crowd of Rucker Park (real place, for all the white people out there). He subsequently crosses someone and makes them fall, buries a 3, two-hand pins a ball on the other end, makes the outlet, then windmill-dunks the oop after the behind-the-back alley. All in all, poetry in motion.

Memories of the Kid and Starbury

You may have noticed how much Kevin Garnett appears on this site, and if you don't understand why, you can go straight to hell. Anyways, this commercial is one reason to love this man. It's also another reason to love seeing Stephon Marbury on TV.
Right now, there are rumors of the Knicks buying out Starbury's contract to move him. There are also rumors that the Celtics may try to acquire him for the league minimum. For those of you who don't remember the Timberwolves with both of these guys, I have just one message: Pray for this to happen.