Week 3 preview

Ok we've been privy to some pretty solid games over the first two weeks. Week 3 leaves us with little in terms of marquee matchups, but there are still some interesting games. The big theme this week is that we will find out a lot about certain teams. Plus, it's CFB, so let's get up and get down.

Tonight we have #14 GT at #20 Miami. Obviously it's a huge conference game for both teams, especially in the ACC where one game can mean the difference between going to the championship game or playing in some random bowl. (The ACC IS competitive albeit in it's own shitty way)GT has fired on all cylinders at times, and at others they look like a literal Rambling Wreck. Defense is average. Another note is that last year GT shredded The U with the run game. I'm telling you, Miami could not stop the midline. The U is also interesting. WE saw the coming out party for Jacory Harris against FSU. The big question was whether that outcome was a result of a shitty FSU defense or a legit U offense. We shall find out.

Friday we have #10 Boise at Fresno. It's a good matchup. Boise wants to impress the pollsters, and Fresno is always a competitive team.

Saturday starts out with ECU at #24 UNC. ECU has lost a lot in past years, but Skip has been known to pull the early season upsets.

#8 Cal at Minnesota. Not really a great matchup but I haven't seen Cal, or Jahvid Best who is putting up Playstation numbers with over 10ypg.....TEN... A F*CKIN TEN!!! The USC game could be epic, but I hear this every year and every year Pete Caroll wins forever.

3:30 games

Tulsa at #8 Oklahoma. Tulsa has a great offense. Does the fall from grace continue?

Tennessee at #1 Florida. Note to Kiffin. Tebow recognizes that pride along with vainglory are deadly sins....and he will smite the.

#3USC at Washington. People are calling this a trap game. I don't Believe. Honestly even if Barkley doesn't play Corp is just as good.

#19 Nebraska at #13 Virgina Tech. Homerism aside, probably the best matchup of the day. Nebraska has looked impressive, although they haven't really played anyone yet. Pelini seems to have The Huskers moving in the right direction, and much of this game will depend on the defense, I-Back Helu, and noob QB Zac Lee. After Tech's offense looked like Pop Warner champs against Alabama, they went ahead and dropped 52 on Marshall with over 600 yards of offense. (444 rushing) I don't know how to react to this. Is this what TT fans feel like? Anyway Ryan Williams and David Wilson went off, and the Nebraska game will show if the pre-season hype is warranted for this offense. Blacksburg is a tough place to play, but look for the Huskers to play very well...almost too well for my liking. For our friends in the Yellow Hammer State, this game can also serve as an indicator of how good your team is that outplayed a Tech team two weeks ago.

Late games.

#17 Cincinatti at Oregon State. Tony Pike has been balling for the past two weeks. The cross country road trip is a great chance to improve the pollsters' opinion of the Bearcats. Also, look for Brian Kelly to be the hot coach for major program openings. Looking at you ND.

FSU at #7 BYU. Great notch on the belt buckle for the Mormons BYU busting campaign. FSU didn't look horrible in the opener against Miami, but again it comes down to the good offense/shitty defense dilemma. The 19 pt performance against the Jacksonville state leads one towards the shitty UM defense theory.

#23 UGA at Arkansas. UPSET ALERT!!! I'm calling it. Sure Arkansas played Missouri State last week. (Which used to be Southwest Missouri State, or SMS. However, everyone there has an inferiority complex and wanted to change their name to Missouri State. The complex stems from the fact that for many people, SMS represents High School+4. The "State" moniker says "Hey I went off and did my own thing, but I still suck on the tit that is high school....and if I flunk out...well state was just too big for me" /offends half of High school graduating class.) But honestly, Mallett+Petrino=good. Plus UGA hasn't been very impressive considering Boone Picken's loss to Houston.

The ABC primetime game is TT at #2 UT. Revenge is an understatement, but typically the Red Raiders get shit on in Austin. Consider this game a Colt McCoy Heisman showcase. But who knows, it's Mike Leach we're dealing with.

On a final note, I'll be out of town this weekend so the live blog will be inactive.

QB Chase Daniel Miffed At Lack of Mention in Campbell/Sanchez Redskin QB Debacle

COLUMBIA, Mo. — Washington Redskins quarterback Chase Daniel, of the Fabled and Mighty Mizzou Powerhouse Football program, says he's not getting his fair shake by the Redskins organization as there has been nary a mention of his coming into the organization and gunning for Jason Campbell's top spot.

One of the subplots of the 2009 Draft was the possibility of Campbell being traded for USC heartthrob Mark "Dirty" Sanchez, leading to polite discomfort between the franchise (?) quarterback and the Redskins' front office.

"I mean, I'm here to win!" bellowed Daniel, at a press conference held at the local Western Sizzlin' in Columbia. "I'm tall enough, I'm- More hushpuppies, please?- I've got a great arm, and I- Gravy. Gravy, yes- I hold records at Muh-freakin-zoo."

"I'm the total package," said Daniel, immediately prior to noticeable discomfort due to one or several chicken bones lodged in Daniel's jowls.

Campbell spoke candidly about the incident.

"It definitely was a shock," Campbell said, "when I started hearing Sanchez talk."

"It's an awkward situation," Campbell answered, "just because after the Cutler deal, we did sit down and talk -- and then the Sanchez talk came up."

When reminded that the topic was to be focused on the arrival of actual competition in the form of Chase Daniel, Campbell began laughing hysterically, ending the interview, but not before conceding he "couldn't remember what that midget looks like."

Fellow 'Skins QBs Colt Brennan and Todd Collins could not be interviewed as they were busy popping towels and chasing each other in the locker room.

Monday Morning Shit Storm

What a great holiday. Eat, drink, TV, and kill. That's basically all I did.

Ohhhh and as I sat in various trees, and soccer chairs (we may have invented recliner hunting) thinking of shit storm ideas.

We have some good ones but you know what, we've had some serious storms for a while now, and to be perfectly honest, I'm still in a turkey comatose.

So let's just do something nice, calm, and relaxing.

On to the storm.

I always thought it was funny how people would apply names to their offense or defense. Sometimes coaches think of these names, and other times the media slaps some dumbass marketable name to it.

So for the shit storm, of Monday morn, list your favorite offense and defense for any sport imaginable. I'm willing to accept chess strategy. Your choice, could be simply based on the name alone, or it could stem from technical aspects.

Or you can just make one up.

For the offense:

Naturally, it's the Flexbone. Not only does this offense have a great name which provides me with material for blog posts, but it's also my favorite brand of football. "The option won't work in the SEC...Too much speed." Paul Johnson acknowledges your argument and provides a counterpoint.
"Suck on my Flexbone."

I'm planning a technical post on the flexbone in the future, but know this: It's awesome.

Defense:

I love Pop Warner football coaches. They're great. Some are really great coaches who do really great things for kids. Others coach their sons and teach kids proper fundamentals which will help them in the future. However, some think they are Bill Walsh, Mike Martz, and Buddy Ryan rolled into one. I've met such a person. This summer at a 4th of July party my mother made the mistake of telling some pop warner coach that I played college football. She had good intentions, but unfortunately the coach wanted to show me his "Innovative" offense and defense. I'll go into the offense in the comment section, but he had his defensive playbook in his truck. he handed it to me and on the front I read: "Animal Defense"

I didn't have the heart to tell him what he had given me was a 33 stack. Thousands of teams run this defense. (Not to mention that it is essentially the Ollllllleeeee 5-3) Anyway, all I could say was: "Animal Defense...Sounds badass."

Hopefully we can get some other sports involved.

Shit storm begin.

CFB Midterm

Everything is bigger in Texas, even blog pictures.

I have No idea whatsoever if this week is the "middle" of the CFB season, but I had two midterms this week, so I was like "what the hell lets have a CFB midterm."

Your BCS Standings.
1. TEXAS
2. Alabama
3. PSU
4. OU
5. USC
6. T. Boone Pickens
7. UGA
8. TT
9. Tosu
10. Tim Tebow

Let's just break this down by conference:
BIG XII Let me get this straight, three undefeated teams, all in the south, and they are UT, TT, and TBP. Well I somewhat hinted at two of these teams. All self promotion aside this is great for anyone who is not a fan of one of these teams, because it sets up a Big XII south gauntlet for the next couple weeks. Texas plays TBP this weekend and then must travel to Lubbock a week later to take on the Red Raiders. TBP simply does not impress me that much, however they are still a solid team and Robinson is throwing darts. TT I want to believe, I really do, but then I look at your schedule and there is no way you make it out without a loss. Oh and there is also this team called OU who could piss everyone off, if Texas has some type of collapse, but that won't happen. There is also a Northern division. KU vs. MU. That's really all you need to know.

SEC SEC SEC SEC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shut up. Just shut up. I hate that stupid chant. Way to beat Miami Tim Tebow, that, without a doubt, is surely the exemplar of games to show your dominance over the country.
Dear Auburn, not only did I tell you this would happen, but you are also on temporary Arkansas status, meaning that you are forbidden from cheering for the "SEC." Why? Well if you lose to a bunch of low life cousin lovers who won't win the Big East then you're SEC elitism status is removed.
So the SEC is back to it's old tricks. Undefeated leader. Several solid one loss teams. Alcohol. Corn Dogs. Seriously though, Bama looks solid and a half. Saban has constructed a team reminiscent of his LSU championship team. They can run the rock, and they can stuff the rock. You also have UGA, Tim Tebow, and LSU in the mix. How will it shake out? I have no clue, it's the SEC they do shit differently down there. Probably Bama and Tim Tebow in the final.

Big Ten (11)
Hey PSU is back!! Unfortunately, Tosu is also in the top ten. They play this weekend for an outright cross face crippler on the rest of the conference. PSU hasn't won in the Horseshoe since 1978. A Tosu team who's only loss is to another top ten team. Scary as shit.

Pac-10
Sucks. USC.
Big East
...

ACC
The ACC is crazy like the SEC, but for different reasons. ACC teams suck so bad that their shittiness has a created a complete cluster F at the top of both divisions. VT was the most consistent until last week, after throwing a brick at some UVA kid I thought about the conference championship and ... Why am I talking about the ACC? Prediction?
Flexboning=BCS
(No I didn't throw a brick at some UVA kid, but it would have been a lot cooler if I did)

Other conferences who play football
I've been on the Boise bandwagon since Zabransky's freshman year, and I can't imagine a team called the "Utes" being in a significant college football game.

The best thing about this year is all the doomsday scenarios that come up. There are so many that completely throw a wrench into the whole BCS system. Think about Alabama or Texas losing late? An undefeated big ten team getting in over a one loss SEC team. The ultimate is USC vs. Tosu, but that wont happen, it's just scary to think about.

The Flexbone Experience

Mississippi State...



You got Flexboned to the tune of 38-7

Ha

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



Not only does this make the Tech loss slightly less gut-wrenching, but it happened to West Virginia, where everything is relative.


Oh, and BC....












You just got Flexboned.

Flexboned

Jacksonville State got Flexboned by Johnson and his staff. 41-14

CFB top 10 preview

In the coming weeks I will attempt to offer my analysis of the CFB top 10. These rankings come from a random top 10 list I saw on the internet, so please save me the Regional/Conference bullshit. Thank you

...First up #10 Clemson

Gut reaction- The ACC is so bad this actually makes some sense

Offense-Clemson's spread offense returns the two headed monster at running back of James Davis and C.J spiller with SR Cullen Harper at the wheel. SR's Aaron Kelly and Tyler Grisham return at wideout while the offensive line will need to break in three new starters(two of which are underclassmen)

Defense-The tigers return their entire defensive backfield and three d-linemen where uber-recruit Da'Quan Bowers (DE) will most likely contribute. At linebacker Cortney Vincent (MLB) is the only returning starter.

Special Teams-Mark Buchholz K and Jimmy Manners P are probably standing around drinking Gatorade right now.

Schedule-The big test for Clemson comes in their opener (Aug 30) where they will square of against Alabama in Atlanta which will serve as a litmus test for both teams. The other big tests will be against Wake Forest (Oct. 9) the media hyped Bowden Bowl (Nov. 8th) and of course on Nov. 29 when the SC Spurriers come to town. All are in Death Valley.

Ramblings- Here's the thing. A scary thing to someone who isn't too fond of Clemson. On paper, Clemson is a legitimate National title contender. One could make a very strong argument that Clemson will be undefeated heading into the ACC championship game and if the stars align properly, could sneak into the BCS championship game. Everyone knows the ACC is reloading/weak and Clemson doesn't even play Virgina Tech or Miami from the Coastal division. (Beamer is Tommy Bowden's Kryptonite and given the talent they have I'll still argue Miami can beat any team in the nation on any given day)

The offense will be adequate and most likely improve on last year's performance with the growth of Harper. Both James Davis and Spiller have rockets up their asses and are home run threats on every play. However, even with the offensive strengths I feel the defense will be even better. With the addition of Bowers their D-line, is a SEC line in a weak weak conference. The return of the entire defensive backfield doesn't hurt either.

In review, the key for the Tigers will be...DON'T CHOKE. It seems every year Clemson is always a top 25 team with BCS hopes, however every year they suck it up at the worst possible time. Lets use last year as a quick example. Nov. 17th BC roles into town, all the tigers have to do is beat the whitest QB to ever exist in the big bad Death Valley and they go to the ACC championship game to redeem their 41-23 beatdown they received from Tech . What happened Suckfest thats what happened. Even after Tommy found a way to beat Bowden the elder, he somehow found a way to F it up. If you look at Clemson's schedule, on paper, they are undefeated but I'd be willing to bet there will be one or two fuck ups along the way. It could come in the form of an opening loss to Alabama (Which would ultimately have every fighting elephant lover rambling about National Championships and Bear Bryant....Tommy please don't let this happen Love, The Nation) or the Tigers could easily get flexboned by Johnson and the rambling wreck, even Spurrier's Cocks could give them fits. Either way, as an objective observer its going to happen...sometime...somewhere. In short, look out for Clemson, because again...on paper...Clemson looks solid.