TELL ME WHAT IS UP IN THE NAME OF GLORIOUS LEADER

SALUTATIONS, CAPITALIST DRONES. I, JONG TAE-SE HAVE BEEN DECIDED BY THE GLORIOUS LEADER KIM JONG-IL TO ADDRESS YOU.

HOW ARE YOUR PITHY LIVES OUTSIDE OF PARADISE? SATISFACTORY, I HOPE, BUT I KNOW THAT YOUR LIVES ARE MEANINGLESS WITHOUT THE SUNSHINE AND HAPPINESS BESTOWED BY KIM JONG-IL, DEFENDER OF THE PEOPLE. SURE, YOU MAY ATTEMPT TO FILL THAT VOID WITH "FREE WILL," "RELIGION," AND "LARGE BREASTED WOMEN," BUT WE ALL KNOW THESE ATTEMPTS ARE FUTILE AND YOU ALL WILL FAIL!

CRUMBLE BEFORE MY MIGHT!

GLORIOUS LEADER HAS ALLOWED ME TO TAKE MY FOOTBALLING CAREER TO THE SECOND GREATEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD, JAPAN'S J-LEAGUE. AS I AM THE GREATEST PLAYER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD (OUTSIDE OF KIM JONG-IL, WHO INVENTED THE GAME), THE FOOLISH IMPERIAL SERVANTS OF THAT DOWNTRODDEN COUNTRY PAY ME HANDSOMELY. I DESPISE THE VERY SIGHT OF MONEY, SO I SPEND IT ALL ON NINTENDOS, IPODS, NIKES, AND CARS. YOU EVEN FAIL AT INFECTING ME WITH WEALTH, ASSHOLE GOD-FEARING JAPANESE! YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT AND YOUR LEAGUE WOULD BE USELESS WERE IT NOT FOR KIM JONG-IL'S CHARITY OF GRACING YOU WITH MY PRESENCE!

COMMENCE LAUGHTER!

WE ARE THE BEST PREPARED TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF ANY WORLD CUP. WE KEEP OURSELVES ISOLATED FROM LAZY FAT CAPITALISTS. YOUR TEETH, SHOES, POTABLE WATER AND ADEQUATE FOOD SUPPLY DIMINISH YOUR WORK ETHIC! WE PRACTICE THROUGH THE NIGHT BEHIND OUR BARBED WIRE. IT IS TO KEEP YOU OUT, NOT US IN! WE ARE FREE AND HAPPY BECAUSE OF OUR GLORIOUS LEADER!

IF YOU HOLD ENOUGH FAVOR WITH THE GLORIOUS LEADER AND DEFENDER OF THE PEOPLE TO HAVE AN INTERNET CONNECTION, USE THIS AS AN OPEN THREAD FOR TODAY'S GAMES!

JOIN ME OR DIE! CAN YOU DO ANY LESS?!?!

There Are Days When I Don't Even Bother Putting On Pants...Then There's This Guy

Happy Mother'sth Day, Mrsths. Phelpths

If eight-times-golden Michael Phelps had his way, he'd have all European media bombed and destroyed forever.

News from across the pond is saying the Phelpthsie, distraught after the tremendous backlash from a photo surfacing of him smoking the reefer, got some hookers (plural).

I'm reticent to go on a tear about this: He should've known better, He should be better, nag nag nag, blah blah blah. It's all just noise.

Frankly, I'm just tired of hearing about it. The nature of news these days is that if you hold the microscope on someone long enough, you'll catch something. Given the type who seems to be prone to kicking himself in the rear — which is true, despite if these stripper stories are true or not — that just makes it all the more painful to watch.

Again, I'm just tired of hearing about it. And I think we can all do in the comment section more than I would hope to do by expounding on it further.

Monday Morning S--t Storm

What a glorious weekend, but now we're back at work, which sucks.

Sports are great, because we can all debate topics without any concern for logic and reason.


Think about it, literally everyone can be an expert as long as they watch an average amount of games. (And listen to the real experts on ESPN)

Don't get me wrong, I love sport debates. Shoot, they are down right fun sometimes, especially since you can basically throw anything out there and see if it sticks.

So for the shit storm give me the best sports debate/argument/reasoning.

And by best mean dumbest/pointless/ESPN like.

In essence, the shit storm is about....well the best shit storm.

I'll give you my personal favorite, which I use all the time: Stats.

I'll use stats if they favor me, but when they don't I just bring out the system/era/teammates card. It's great.

And just to be clear, you can throw down some specific storms like "BEST TEAM EVAR!!!" or reasoning such as "If so and so played on the so and so's he'd be in the hall."

Also, if you're having trouble with this just watch some ESPN, or go to some fan site such as Rivals and just see what they are talking about.

You can also find some good material with the draft coming up.

Worst case, just say something like Tebow vs. Vince Young

Ok shit storm begin.