Caption Contest: Young LeBron Cracks Wise

This picture should spawn a whole lot of better comments besides this one. I hope that many of you come up with some of them.

WOO!

George Karl and J.R. Smith

George Karl: Hey, J.R.


J.R. Smith: What's good, coach.

Karl: I want you to watch something. Basically, Carmelo's already checked out and is just padding his stats so that more teams want him. I'm going to need you to do more.

Smith: More threes?

Karl: No, that's... that's definitely not it. Let's work on your passing

Smith: That's Chauncey's thing. I don't wanna.

Karl: I know, I know, but it doesn't have to be something you hate. Check out what Andre Iguodala did the other night.

Smith: Hold up, gotta put my glasses on.


Karl: ...yeah OK whatever. Just watch.



Karl: See? You can pass and still do something--

Smith: WOOOO I'ma try that tonight!



Smith: How you like that one, coach?! Just like you told me, right?!





Carmelo Anthony: Whatchu think, Chauncey?

Chauncey Billups: I think I'm coming with you when you bounce.















Icehouse: Sorry Darnell.

NBA Playoffs: Conference Finals

Dwight: I can haz?
Kobe and LeBron: No.

At the risk of sounding like I've become part of the hype machine, I'm just going to go ahead and say it. Kobe and Bron in the finals. I want the Nuggets to beat the Lakers, I really do, but think about what it would deprive us of. This would be the match-up of the century. Abysmal muppet commercials aside, Kobe-Bron would be destined for the same conversation as Wilt-Bill.

They are the two best players in the world. They are the best players on the two best teams in the league. It's been meant to be since before the season started.

Kobe and LeBron are at the top of the games, and yet, are polar opposites. One grew up rich playing hoops with his pro baller dad. One grew up poor and never knew his dad. One's substantially older. One forced a trade from the team that drafted him, while the other has embraced his hometown team and will [most likely] never leave. One's a jokester, one seems aloof and standoffish. One's image is untarnished, the other's is unfortunately synonymous with anal rape. They are their own doppelgangers, the yin to the other's yang.

But look how they've gotten to where they are presently, this season. One rains sixty in the World's Most Famous Arena, the next one shows up and drops a 52-point triple-double. They both flush 40-ft buzzer beaters like they could care less.

Currently, Kobe just put up 40 points over the West's second-best player's 39 to take the 1-0 lead over the Sticky Nuggs (please win, Nuggets. Please?). As I type, Bron is going up against the best Center in the league, and the East's third best player. His last four-possession stretch went like this: Bron blocks Rashard Lewis; Bron thunders home a dunk; Bron blocks Dwight Howard; Bron hits a three.

As far as teams go, I want the Nuggets and Cavs to win.

But as a fan...

Join me or Die. Can you do any less?

NBA Playoffs: Round 2

They're coming, they're coming, they're coming.

Yes infuckingdeed, it's been a crazy couple of weeks. Lots of fun. Lots of dunks, lots of great games. This is seriously the best time of the year. Even TNT stepped up their game by adding Chris Webber to what was already the best talking head crew in television.

Anyways, despite the fact that most of the teams I wanted to win ended up losing, I'm still having a great time. I could really do without another viewing Charles Barkley, Magic Johnson and Julius Erving in that one T-Mobile commercial, though.

SO

More of what I want to happen, less of what is going to happen:

EASTERN CONFERENCE:

(3)Orlando Magic v. (2)Boston Celtics
-Magic. It was nice to give Jesus, PP, and the Kid a ring. It really felt ok to give them one, they earned it. But they have theirs now. They don't really deserve a second one. Individually, sure, but this? It just feels dirty. The Magic have been the dark horse for plenty of time now. As a fan, I deserve to see a few more games of Dwight and Shard.

(4)Atlanta Hawks v. (1)Cleveland Cavaliers
-Normally I'll root for the underdog. Normally I'll root for Josh "J-Smoove" Smith and Joe Johnson. But normally, they're not in the second round of the playoffs playing against a newly minted MVP in LeBron James. Sorry Hawks. Hope you can snake one, but I doubt it. I don't see the Cavs losing too many games before the finals. Better luck next year.

WESTERN CONFERENCE:
(6)Dallas Mavericks v. (2)Denver Nuggets
-Nuggets. Because Mark Cuban should never have talked shit to JR Smith in the first place. Some people don't like seeing JR pop 28 ft. shots when the Sticky Nuggs are blowing out a team, but I'm going to relish seeing him do it this series. If the Mavs can somehow call "backsies" on the Kidd trade, have Dirk be the 6th man coming off the bench, and burn Erica Dampier down for the insurance money, I'll be a Mavs fan.

(5)Houston Rockets v. (1)Los Angeles Lakers
-I'd love to see the Rockets win. In my mind, they match up pretty well, too. Nobody stops Kobe, but Ron Artest is one hell of a speed bump, plus he's been playing great. Yao eats Pau's lunch for fun, and I don't have enough respect for Andrew Bynum to say that he'll bother Yao much, now that Yao has discovered his mean streak. Couple that with lightning-quick Aaron Brooks, Kyle Lowry flying in for fun, and the kaleidoscope of forwards the Rockets can throw at them, it's feasible. Not likely, but what the hell.