Our first
Ok fine, Sports Entertainment. It's still real to me dammit!
Anyway, the clip does bring out an interesting question. How would comic book characters fare in athletic competition?
The answer is that they would obviously be badass and set all sorts of records, but which sport would really fit their outrageous abilities. Obviously there are some natural fits such as Aquaman (Yo Vinny that shit is dope) and The Flash. But I honestly have no clue where I would put the X-Men. They would just kill everyone, right? I know what your thinking, and yes, there is no wrong answer to this shit storm. Spiderman playing golf? I mean...sure, that makes sense.
We already have a precedent with Brian Dawkins/Wolverine/Weapon X
But yeah, any comic book hero or villan, and if you pick a team sport please give a position.
My Selection;
THE HULK at Noseguard for football.
Perfect attitude and size. He can not only soak up, but also defeat double teams to allow my superhero linebackers to roam freely and kill the ball carrier. Literally.
"Oh but Lattimer how will you make him THE HULK and not Bruce Banner?"
Simple, I hire John Henderson as my D-line coach.
Shit Storm ASSEMBLE!!!
Posts
Magneto at bobsled?
ReplyDeleteSpiderman plays Jai Alai.
ReplyDeleteQuick sidenote: It's absurd to think that in the origin tale of Spiderman that there would be a t-shirt with the Spiderman logo already emlbazened on it, as is in the wrestling match. I mean, HELLO?
ReplyDeleteThat being said: Cyclops in sporting clays. Iceman in figure skating. Collasus, SOMEWHAT SUPRISINGLY, men's gymnastics in the Rings. Arm strength, yo.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure JaVale McGee is inspector gadget
ReplyDeletePunisher, The game of Death.
ReplyDeleteI'd like the Human Torch to play for the...wait for it...Heat. That makes sense. This would allow for spectular references to NBA Jams when his high-flying and fiery exploits were on display.
ReplyDeleteJuggernaut can play for any NFL team in short yardage, goalline situations. Let's put him on the Raiders. He bad.
ReplyDeleteNightcrawler needs to replace David Beckham on the LA Galaxy. His teleportation abilities eliminate all offsides penelties. And, Kurt Wagner is from Germany, so I'm sure he loves to play soccer already.
ReplyDeleteKraven the Hunter needs to get sponsored by Cabella's and take over Spike TV.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure Al Davis is Doctor Doom. Or Voldemort.
ReplyDeleteMultiple Man (Jamie Madrox) would probably do well in raquetball or squash. I can't tell you how many times I've been playing raquetball or squash and been like, "Man, if I could just be over there too, that'd be ideal."
ReplyDeleteWait, I can tell you. It was the one time I played raquetball or squash.
Dr. Otto "Doc Octopus" Octavius, left tackle for the St. Louis Rams. Their O-Line is weak, and those tentacles have RANGE.
ReplyDeleteSince it's implied that DC's Flash is in track or field in the notations, I'll take Marvel's Speed (Thomas Shepard) playing cricket. It wouldn't matter that he doesn't have super-strength to hit it over the fence, an over's only worth six runs. He could go back and forth between the wickets thousands of times with even the weakest stroke.
ReplyDeleteMagneto's might be good at the bobsled, but I think he'd be better at fencing. Unless they started playing with wooden sabres. THEN HE'D BE SCREWED.
ReplyDeleteKitty "Shadowcat" Pryde would do pretty well in a rugby scrum, just run right through everyone. And, in the event that while she's running through someone, and in their own brief fluidity have someone else go through them and THAT person becomes stuck in the first after she's already gone, well...the bloodshed and horror of seeing a man violently go through another man's guts seems to fit the rugby motif, no?
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with Magneto at fencing. I don't know anything about comics, but I do know about cheating scandals. Well done Anon.
ReplyDeleteAlbert Pujols could play baseball...
ReplyDeleteAnon, this is only about comic book characters, not Baseball gods.
ReplyDeletePunisher does biathalon.
ReplyDelete