Monday, April 18, 2011

Jim Thome is Paul Bunyan

In efforts to better understand how best to live, our resident backwoodsman Booker Pogue sat down with the chaw-spitting tater-basher. Below are some of the most interesting tidbits.

"I'll have a natty heavy please."

"You hearda this one? It's like Pearl, if they made it in a bath tub. Found a tooth in a bottle couple weeks ago."

"What do you mean you don't have schlitz on draft?!"

"I don't trust boneless wings. If you can't choke on em and die, I don't see the point in eating em."

"Tell your mom to stop calling me."

"Did you know bald eagle was high in cholesterol?"

"You like this underwear? I killed and skinned this possum myself."

"I used to use boar's blood for all my protein shakes before I discovered biodiesel."

"Sting ray barbs will get the plaque out of your teeth, but you don't want to rub your eyes after using one. I don't know why I did it twice"

"I used to carry my bounty hunter's license in Montana til they banned the use of hatchets. sort of lost its appeal after that.

"Lotta people use crampons when climbing glaciers. Pretty expensive pair of long toenails if you ask me."

1 comment:

  1. "If you're not going to power your boat with your own back muscles and use a motor, you should have to build the motor yourself too, just like the boat."