Monday, April 25, 2011

Monday Morning S--t Storm

The NFL draft is right around the corner, which explains the increased visibility of Mel Kiper and Todd McShay (again refer to the Todd theory)

Personally I hate the fact that they now have the first rounds on Thursday and Friday. Since the age of 12 I've been used to wasting an entire weekend staring at the TV staring at names coming across the ticker. The draft actually comes at a perfect time in the year, it's like "Ok spring is here but I need one more weekend to do absolutely nothing, THEN I'll go outside and do stuff." Honestly, the laziest weekend I had was in college. My roommate and I watched the entire draft, leaving only to buy booze, feasting on leftover wings from a sorority car wash. If that's not being worthless to the world I don't know what is. Basically, the draft is awesome and people who bitch about the draft and the combine, are (1) Idiots (2) Not real football fans. That's right I said it. If you do not throw a weekend of your life away just to see who gets taken in the 3rd round YOU ARE AH NAWT A TRUE FAN OF THE GAME!!!

Point is, drafts are awesome. KSK really cornered the market with their Friday mock drafts, so I'm stealing their schtick, but today's shit storm will deal with drafts.

If you could participate in any draft in the world (real or fake) what would you choose?

My choice comes from an old high school debate, and something I've wanted to do for many years.

That's right, a draft to assemble a hooters franchise.

Our idea was to hold combines, interviews, and eventually a draft, to form our own hooters franchise. obviously the looks are important, but we also wanted to hold Hula Hoop tests (40 time) examine film on how waitresses could flirt with creepy old guys (film) and hold interviews that included what degree they were pursuing. (wonderlic)

In lunch we even had a full list of tests and rules, and may or may not have concocted a plan to open a fruit stand at the local farmers market called "Melons" using high school girls as employees.

So that was our carefully crafted business plan idea, let's hear your drafting fantasies.

Shit storm begin.


  1. I'd like to draft a logging company. Not quite as sexy as Lattimer's idea, but I would love a weekend of chopping/sawing timber cutting competitions.

  2. I also like the idea of drafting vehicles for a cannonball run style race.

  3. Can I draft an elite squad of mercenaries? We need to have the good-looking rapscallion, the slightly unhinged guy, the mechanic/driver, the sexy token female (bonus points if she's also a demolition expert).

    And so on.