Tuesday, December 28, 2010

That's right, I said it.

The other day, I said that I was glad Jeff Lurie gave Michael Vick a second chance. That's right, I said it. I don't give a fuck.

I've got an idea. Instead of griping about me saying something, you should go to church. I heard they celebrate some dude's birthday this week, and that dude got famous because he preached about forgiveness. That dude also hung out with criminals, tax collectors, lepers. Oh what, you're surprised that a "Muslim" knows the story of Jesus? You mad? Yeah you are. You look like you're about to cry like a little bitch. Fuck you.

We have a prison system, because we try and reform criminals and give them multiple chances at leading productive lives. Why else would we let people out of jail? Under the thinking that we shouldn't forgive Mike Vick, then we should just execute everyone. You know where they execute people for petty bullshit? Iran and North Korea. You're a fucking fascist terrorist if you think we shouldn't forgive Mike Vick. Why don't you just strap a bomb to yourself and walk out into the middle of nowhere? Yes, because you're a failure as a human being and you should kill yourself.

Michael Vick is really good at football. He used to have a hobby that is unacceptable in a decent society. He was punished for things that he did. He paid his debt to society, and has been released - along with thousands of others - as a reformed ex-convict. He can't vote. He can't coach youth sports. What he can do is fuck up your favorite team every week because you're a cocksucking Giants fan. Asshole.

Michael Vick is a hero. Everybody loves a good redemption story. How many times did you see "The Fighter" this week? Hm? Yeah, Mark Wahlberg sucks and you're a racist. A man was misguided. He did some bad things. He hung out with friends who did bad things. Authorities set him straight, now he's doing what he loves for the right reasons, and making millions of people happy.

In conclusion, I'm glad OJ got acquitted, Kobe should be able to rape one white girl for every championship he's won, Tiger Woods has a bigger dick than you, and I fucked your mom. Wu Tang, bitches.


  1. I'd love to see McCain's retort, if he knew what a computer was.

  2. also


  3. Oh yeah, and FUCK TUCKER CARLSON. He can suck the bow tie off DEZ NUTS.

  4. that was beautiful, truly beautiful