BREAKING: Suits make terrible decisions

Great Moments in History with Gus Johnson from Gus Johnson

Well, Gus Johnson has officially left CBS sports. Which of course means we won't be seeing any more cold blooded calls during the NCAA tournament.

Who knows why they parted ways, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he didn't appeal to the "older demographic" To which I say SCREW OFF.

The article says he may become the NFL Thursday night guy, but here's to hoping he gets with ESPN and establishes himself as the premier CFB play by play guy and they team him up with Chris Spielman.

Here's a little taste of his football action.

(On a side note please listen to Fouts. Not only does he say Hall should have intercepted the ball, which is of course what every whistle toting coach will tell you is the exact OPPOSITE of what you want to do. But, he also praises Stokely for burning time off the clock and not scoring right away. Not unlike DeSean Jackson, and we all know how he was treated by the media)

But honestly, Imagine Gus in Death Valley, LSU vs. Alabama, surrounded by over 100,000 drunk Cajuns. Now that would be awesome.

Furthermore if you look at...


Brent: Hehehehe, ohhh yeah, Olllllllllllle Lattimer hear SPEAKING HIS MIND on CFB announcing.

But I tell you what Latty, You gotta wonder here if the Ollllllle cold blood killer, Gus, can really handle the prestige of College Football?

/Mute Button

What the hell, Teddy Bruschi?

So wait? The whole NFL thing came down because they were worried about players getting injured.

So I can understand the whole Steve Young/NFL Vs. Millen/Schlereth debate. Specifically, protecting players vs. "this is how the game is played." You know, that makes LOGICAL sense.

But then Teddy Bruschi comes on and I thought he was going to demonstrate a proper tackle Vs. what the NFL considered a malicious hit.

But then we enter Bizzaro world, and Teddy then instructs everyone on how to LEGALLY INJURE defenseless receivers. The proper way to do this is to turn your body sideways and launch yourself into the sternum of the opponent in hopes to "do some damage" to the sternum area.

So remember kids. The proper way to tackle is:

1. Turn your body completely sideways so you cannot see the opponent, that aspect is overrated.

2. Another benefit of this technique is that it exposes the SIDE of your neck which is much more vulnerable to injury and nerve damage.

3. DO NOT use your arms in any way other than keeping them as tight to your body as possible. This will make you more aerodynamic for the most important part of the move.

4. THE LAUNCH. Yes guesstimate (because your head is turned) where your opponents sternum will be do not worry if you bounce off the opponent because the main goal of "break down the door" tackling is to do damage in the sternum area, if you're lucky maybe you can snap a collar bone, perhaps a rib.

Shit, I think Rodney Harrison got uncomfortable watching that.

I do know one thing, Chris Spielman is appalled.

"Wrap up and drive your feet young man....See what you hit, hit what you see"

As you've probably guessed tOSU is also ready

You Know Spielman's ready

The Tasmanian Devil

Monday Morning S--t Storm!!!

So this weekend it seemed like everyone went batshit crazy over Gruden's draft performance.

1. Told you
2. Well yeah, he was a coach as oppose to you know, a BYU Douchebag who just says random shit for the fun of it. (No offense to BYU or the Mormon faith)
3. Why are you watching ESPN instead of NFL network with my main man Mike Mayock?

Anyway it got me thinking about the emphasis we place on the people who provide us with sports information.

So, for the Shit Storm we are going to create the best broadcasting team for each sport. We've hated on broadcasters for so long that it seems fair to give credit where it is due.

My team for football.

Gus Johnson as play by play. (Keith Jackson has his own category)
Chris Spielman on the color.
Erin Andrews on the sideline.

And


Wait for it........

Bill Belichick in the booth.

I would just love to hear him mutter. "cover 3 right here" at random points throughout the game. I also think his "yeah smash route" line following Gus Johnson's Touchdowngasm would add a nice balance.

Shit Storm begin.

CFB Live Blog

Rough night. but I did come home to a Ryan Bingham Austin City Limits replay.

but now we have CFB. Which is awesome.


I realize we had this yesterday, but Explosions in the Sky is great. Imagine this as ESPN's flagship song for CFB. Also a little shout out to friend of the program vitustinnitus who, along with Icehouse, showed me the awesome.

Not too many gameday notes.

-Wazzu is repping once again.

-Not too many good signs from the Columbus crowd (expected) but we do have some good Charlie Weiss fat jokes. Although there is a "search kids eat free sign."
-Not sure how I feel about DMB and CFB

-Santonio is the celeb picker. Picking purely on fansanity. I can respect that.

-Mascot head..............Herbstreit boys............Trojans.

Ok not too many games to get excited about. We'll be watching Old State, Michigan/ND, and the big one tonight. Hokies are on 360 which I don't have. This may be a good thing because walls computers and other items will not be punched do to offensive inability.
***********************************************************************************
-PSU scores early, simply better than the Cuse.

-PSU up 14-0

-Follow The Wiz on Twitter. He will hook your ass up with out of market games. Now watching Army/Duke (FLEXBONE!!!!)

-But seriously, follow him.

-Fresno up on Wiscaaaaansaaaan 21-17

-Sports Bar break

-Not surprised that Houston is giving Boone Pickens trouble.

-For the Longhorn fans. Dave Christiensen is good, but not that good. You better "Hook them" or whatever the fuck it is you do to opposing teams.


-Michigan ND is a good game, we have the Catholic D-bags leading the newly reformed liberal D-bags 20-17.

-I'd like to thank all the Christians in Texas for beating the cake-eaters from Virginia.

-I'll note that Rich Rod seems to be using more gap schemes in his running game. He's typically been a zone guy.

-ND......BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUCK ON IT FISH EATERS.

-On a more serious note, the Forcier kid is pretty impressive especially for a true freshman.

-Musberger continues to piss me off even though I have little fan interest in the game.

-"That'll take the crowd out of it" /1 minute later "Crowd is back in it" Yes Brent, 100,000 plus fans packed it up because the other team scored. Seriously, just fucking go away.

Brent Musberger previews GRH CFB Preview

Brent: Wellllllllllll welcome back GRH football fans, we're here in Hobbsville getting set for the annual GRH College Football Preview.

Now.

If you haven't been following GRH for a while now...well...boy....let me tell you what. (egotistical laughter) You have been missing out.

Now.

Last summer the writers for GRH gave us a great, and I mean GREAT, preview for the 2008 football season. And let me tell you what, THESE are no amateurs. Whadya think Herbie?



Kirk: Thanks Brent. I think last year GRH provided a solid preview for the football season because they provided accurate information on the teams and players. The key here for the 2009 season is that they will need to continue with the accurate information, and progress with the accuracy.

But you know what else Brent? This is what I really like about GRH. They take the stance that the team with the HIGHEST SCORE at the end of the game will win. And you know what, they can improve on that and continue with their success.

Brent: Right you are there partner. But you have to wonder here if GRH will overvalue teams here.

Now.

I know they did a good job, but you have to wonder if the mistakes of Clemson, WV, and Ohio State will resurface this year. I mean olllllllllllllllle Lattimer is good, but you have to wonder here if he will give too much credit to teams like Penn State, Cal, Notre Dame, Those pesky Rebels from Ollllllllllllllllllllle Miss, and of course Jim Tressel's Buckkkkkkkkkeyes from THE Ohio State University.

Kirk: That's a good point Brent. As you can see, Lattimer was simply not accurate on that information. I think if he was accurate he would have done a better job.

Brent: Right you are there Herbie.

Now.

Our own Erin Andrews has talked to the GRH staff following their first year performance. Take it away Erin.


Erin: Thanks Brent. I talked to GRH writer Icehouse and in regards to last years performance he said. "Well you know you go out there and you give 110 percent. You want to write good. You hope you write good. And...I think we wrote pretty good last year."

Brent: Our Friend Erin Andrews.

Now.

That olllllllllllllle Lattimer said he was going to do not only an ACC preview, but a Big Ten (11) as well. (Passive aggressive laughter) I don't know about the viewers, but I DID NOT see those. You have to wonder here what the problem was. Let's take it down to my friend Chris Spielman.



Chris: You know I was watching Lattimer and the intensity is there but he just didn't finish. BREAK IT DOWN AND WRAP IT UP YOUNG MAN. GOTTA GED YOUR HEAD IN THERE AND POST. Come on now, you learn that in pop warner.

Kirk: That's a good point Chris, and I'm not sure Lattimer can.....



Lee: Up bupp bupp bupp bupp NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND. Let me tell you somethin. GRH has Stovall who can bring the funny. Don Delaware is anchoring the lines. And a newcomer Old Booker Pogue, who was connection ineligible last year. Watch this guy when he writes wshh wshh wshh (Corso pencil bolt). He's got some moves. Watch out now.

Brent: Well thanks Lee, and stay tuned for the GRH 2009 CFB preview.