Caption Contest!

Here are some fairly inspried photographs that require your movingly inspired captions. It's a caption contest.



"We await instructions before continuing the love-makings."



"It's funny because I'm fat!"



(Only in here for homerism)

Daly: "Jealous?"

Commence Hobberation.

Broncos QB Simms Recognized Outside of Team Activity

DENVER, Co. - While at a Denny's on Monday afternoon, Broncos reserve quarterback Chris Simms was recognized by another patron of the restuarant without Simms having to explain his role on the team, or his college and professional history.

"He was like 'You're Chris Simms, right?' and I was like 'Sure am,'" Simms told reporters. "He wasn't my waiter; he couldn't have seen my ID or debit card or anything. He just knew who I was.

"Pretty awesome if you ask me, which he did, by the way."

The recognizer, Bill Daniels, 41, stated that he recognized the quarterback, but couldn't figure out why.

"I think it was because of his dad?," said Daniels. "I lived in Austin for awhile, but that was when Major Applewhite was there. Speaking of, you know he's a coach now, right? I bet he's great."

Police records obtained by GRH later verified that Daniels had gotten into a fender bender with the erstwhile journeyman Simms in August.

49er's Coach Mike Singletary Completely Forgets Name of Starting QB in Press Conference

SAN FRANSISCO -- During the daily meeting with the local press outlets, 49er's head coach Mike Singletary forgot the name of his team's starting quarterback, despite the team's impressive 3-1 record.

"We're glad to have Michael Crabtree coming to the team. Our quarterback...uh, our QB, is very excited...we're all excited to have another target for...another target for us to throw to," stammered Singletary.

Singletary not only seemed to forget the player in question's name -- who may or may not have thrown for 700 yards and five touchdowns already this season with only one interception -- but that the person under center even existed at all.

"Hoo. Boy, that guy is an athlete," shrugged the Hall of Fame linebacker, now popular coach. "But not only does he provide the sort of athleticism and poise you look for in a...in a guy like him, but he's just uh. Wow, you know he's the type of guy you'd want your daughter to marry?"

When pressed on the identity, Singletary blinked. "Nope. I have no clue who I want my daughter to marry."

Back-up tight end/place kicker Shaun Hill said he was furious over the entire press conference, but would not say why.

Titans RB LenDale White Banned From Every Nashville Buffet

Apparently in Nashville, when it rains, it pours.

The AFC South Champion Tennessee Titans, after losing to the Houston Texans and losing salty defensive veterans Albert "Now MY Face Hurts, Isn't That Ironic?!" Haynesworth and Kyle "Hail Austria!" Vanden Bosch for the remainder of the regular season. With offensive leader Kerry Collins overthrowing all of his seemingly nameless receivers, the defense in a rebuilding process, and Jeff Fisher now sporting a goatee instead of a mustache, a lot of the Titans' success rests of the Thunder and Flash combination of LenDale White and rookie Chris Johnson.

Now it seems the yeoman's share of the work between the running backs will be carried primarily by Johnson.

LenDale White and the Nashville Police Department have informed Coach Fisher and the Titans organization that White has been banned from any and all buffets in Davidson County. His mugshot will be placed in the foyers and front doors of all restaurants that have any kind of all-you-can eat, cattle call, come-and-get-its, seconds-and-thirds-on-us, food trough, and cafeteria locations in the Nashville area, and local police forces have been notified to detain White by any means necessary, most likely involving the Ole Turkey Leg on a String maneuver, or some variation thereof.

According to sources, White has been flirting with this with this disastrous fate since his days in Southern California as a USC Trojan. But while the free spirited environment of SoCal may have disguised White's eating habits, but upon being drafted by the Titans and setting up shop in Nashvegas, his habits were better documented and closely scrutinized.

In 2006, LenDale White was arrested for loitering, disturbing the peace, and theft after an incident at a Shoney's near downtown Nashville. White had to be pulled away by a security guard, two fry cooks and a bus boy from the Satruday All-You-Care-to-Eat Buffet. Shoney's spokesman Andy Griffith said the display was appalling, atrocious and down-right gut wrenchin'.

The Ming, Chinese Kitchen, Chinese King, and Chinese Super Buffet all have recorded incidents between 2006 and 2008 resulted in all sorts of calamity in the streets of Davidson County of the Ninja/Samurai variety. Michael Bay has picked up the tab for the millions of dollars worth of damage done to the Nashville buildings and sidewalks, and is using the photo footage for the new Transformers movie, due out in 2009. It is still under investigation of whether or not the pummeled body of Shia LaBeouf had anything to do with this incident, as many think they young punk might've just had it coming for cutting in front of LenDale. Sounds like an open and shut case to this guy.

The final straw came between the Old and New Country Buffets, popular on Sunday afternoons following church dismissals in Nashville.

White arrived at the New Country Buffet, widely known for both its steak and its sizzle, has a popular Sunday lunch special. Unfortunately, they did not have a full lunch buffet, rather a two-for-one steak deal with an unlimited salad bar. It was the Old Country Buffet that, in fact, had the full buffet, and unfortunately for the staff and guests of both of the Country Buffets, LenDale was unsatisfied.

White ate the entirety - food, people, wood, nuts and bolts - of both restaurants, the Old and New Country Buffets. This event was overshadowed by the presidential election of Barack Obama, so few people heard about it. It was only discovered by mainstream America several weeks later, as White pooped out the roughly eight tons of sheer wreckage that he had been carrying in his bowels. What is less remarkable than the pooping, was that no one noticed the added weight in the first place.

White has been put on house arrest by the team and will be fed a steady diet of Big Mac's, Whoppers and Baconators in order to keep him satisfied enough to not attempt to eat his own legs and arms.