A-Rod Ultimately to Blame for Manny Testing Positive For Performance Enhancing Drugs

SUNNYVILLE, Fla. — Alex Rodriguez, the beguiled and admittedly juiced Yankees 3B, had no comment to allegation that Manny Ramirez had indeed tested positive for performance enhancing drugs, which is undoubtedly the fault of A-Rod, who is currently rehabbing in Florida from an injury incurred while dog fighting.

A-Rod cowardly denied any involvement with the former Red Sox slugger, despite a number of allegations that he is in fact to blame.

"I have no f***ing idea what you're talking about," said a tear-soaked and obviously guilty Rodriguez.

The reporter, disgusted with the Yankee's obvious disdain and irreverence toward the game of baseball, turned away to vomit.

The hapless and down-right-happy-go-lucky Manny Ramirez said he believes A-Rod betrayed him and the game itself when he himself tested positive for performance enhancing drugs.

"Is just Manny being Manny," the slugger said through a bright and wide grin, causing all of the reporters to chuckle, guffaw, and get autographs.

Commissioner Bud Selig applauded the effort of the investigative team that followed the bread crumbs from Ramirez's positive testing back to A-Rod.

"I was honestly a little worried back there for a bit," said Selig. "I didn't think that we had enough evidence to connect the dots and pin the guy (A-Rod) down, that a-hole.

"I'm just glad justice is being served."

Manny was erroneously suspended for 50 games instead of A-Rod, yet tragically, as soon as he was cleared of the suspension, he pulled a hammy and will sit for the next 50 games anyway. Reports that Mark McGuire may be behind the injury are still pending.

Monday Morning Shit Storm

This is a storm that has been brewing inside of me for 23 years.

We all love sports, we all watch sports, and the majority of the time we are watching these sports on a TV.

Which is awesome, except for the fact that somebody has to explain the game to you.

I have a love hate relationship with commentators. I love some, like Keith Jackson. I'd put Keith Jackson on the same level as Einstein, DaVinci, and Albert Pujols. Hell I'd listen to Keith Jackson read my Tacoma's owner's manual.

However, there are some "commentators" that I simply can't stand. They constantly ruin my sports viewing experience with their blatant douchebaggery.

Who's on the top of my list.


Brent Musberger.

God I don't know how many sporting events this guy has ruined for me. Hey Brent, you don't have to over analyze every single play.

If Brent were to do play by play on my morning this is how it would sound:

-Wow waking up at 6:30? You have to wonder Kirk if he got enough sleep last night?

-Lattimer used alot of toothpaste this morning, you have to wonder if he will eventually have to get more toothpaste.

-Eggs? I realize there is alot of protein? But Kirk you have to wonder if this will have an impact on him later in the day?

-Coffee? Only 1 cup? Well, I have no idea what Lattimer is thinking, but ONE CUP
Kirk?

-The polo? You have to wonder here Kirk, if the weather changes, I mean it's fall and you have to wonder here if the polo was the wrong choice?

-You know what Kirk? I was sitting down with Lattimer the other day, Fine young man, and do you know what he told me? He pee's standing up? ha ha I mean can you believe that kirk? Standing? Ladies and Gentleman this Lattimer is a special man.

-You know what Kirk, I've been all across this land, and Lattimer is without a doubt the best at opening a car door.

-Wow shifting into 5th gear on Jacksonville road? Kirk isnt that a little risky? I mean the sign clearly says 45? You have to wonder here kirk, if this will have implications later on? I mean I'm no expert, but anyone can see that shifting into 5th on Jacksonville, is not a wise move my friend.

-ooooo yellow light Trouble here.

-Wow Kirk, he just made that light, but you have to wonder if that close call will make him less aggressive at future lights?

-I'll tell you what that was the best right turn I have ever seen?

-I'll tell you what here kirk, This may have been the best morning I've seen, But you have to wonder that ole' tomorrow morning is rolling around the bend' and I dont know that after this dogfight that ollllllllllllllllle' lattimer can make it through another grinder.

God I hate Musberger.

For the storm list your most hated TV sports personality.