Showing posts with label Rams will inevitably fuck this up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rams will inevitably fuck this up. Show all posts

Friday, July 9, 2010

Name This Mascot Before a 12-Year-Old Terminally Cross Eyed Girl From O'Fallon, MO Does



So the Los AngelesSt. Louis Rams, in their infinite wisdom, have elected to make their mascot naming ceremony part of the public domain. How kind of them! That's just the type of contest that makes me want to be more involved in MY community BY supporting the Los AngelesSt. Louis Rams!

Unfortunately, this is a subjective competition, meaning that they'll pick the winner, rather than letting Lady Democracy rule the day (I'm not going to lie, I think it'd be awesome if the Rams' mascot was 'Justin Bieber the Ram'). The Rams, as per usual, won't be able to help themselves from messing this up. They're going to go with Terminally-Ill Tammy from O'Fallon, or Asthmatic-Amputee Andy from Arnold, who will give them names like "Rammy" or "Rascal."

Hobbers, I urge you to do better. Step up to the plate/comment section, and give me a better name.

My top three:

  • Rammy Ramirez (won't happen in the Midwest because THEY TOOK OUR JEEERRRRBS!)
  • Albert Pujols the Ram
  • Sam Bradford

It can't be any worse than Pittsburgh's Steely McBeam. No, that's their mascot, not Pittsburgh's most infamous male stripper.

Do your worstbest, Hobbers.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Some S--t went down!!!

OK, OK, OK let's just take a step back and analyze what went down the past couple days.

First we have the NCAA tourney. Personally I like Duke, and Icehouse pretty much summed up the feelings of the rest of you. However I feel like we're all missing the big picture. This tournament wasn't about the upsets, the last second shots, the glamour. No this was about one man taking his rightful place at the top of the sports broadcasting mountain. That man is Gus Johnson.

And now here's my excuse to post this video from the evil genius mind of Punte.

Please let him announce amens corner this weekend.

In other news Donovan McNabb got traded to the Redskins. Did you hear about this, have you heard about this? On one hand the news was awesome. Why? Well it completely overshadowed the douche fest known as Yankees/Redsox opening day. On the other hand it brought about hyperbolic garbage from both sides.

Let's put this into perspective. McNabb is a good QB who is starting to get older. His major fault is what I like to call the La La land syndrome. There are just certain times in game where he just completely shits the bed. The other thing about McNabb is that the past couple years he's had an outstanding receiving crew and a serviceable offensive line. These are things not typically found in The Beltway. Oh and one more thing per that article. Shanahan is not the guy who got all that production out of his line. The guy is Alex Gibbs, (OL coach) who put his own special twist on zone blocking.

The last negative aspect of this trade is the appearance of Redskins fans touting the return to the glory years. Oh you haven't met a Skins fan? Let me introduce you.



Keep it real Yo, Fairfax for life.

In other QB news The rams just cut Marc Bulger. I'd like to introduce you to the number one pick and savior of the St. Louis franchise.


/Breathes deeply.

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

Finally, opening day occured. El Hombre went 4/4 with two slama lama ding dongs and the Northside college transplants needing a trendy baseball hat's gave up 16.

All is right.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

NFL Thoughts of the week

Icehouse has a nice idea with his NBA posts. Good idea, strong idea. I think I'll take it.

So here's the thing. Sitemeter overlords tell me nobody visits on Sunday and we are low on NFL content. there is an infinite amount of NFL information on the internets so what we're going to do is highlight a player/team every week AND we can have this serve as our open thread IF anyone actually stops by and reads this.

/see's two birds
//throws single stone

So our first Hobbersonian highlight is none other than Steven Jackson of the St. Louis Rams.


Steven is the best player on the worst team in the NFL. And what sucks is that if he were playing for any type of competent organization he would be widely considered the best all around back in the NFL. That's right I said it. Look, SJ is much like Marshall Faulk he can run inside, outside, catch, block, tolerate Mike Martz. Sure they have different styles, but their skill sets remain the same.

Anyway, I feel for him. There were rumors of him getting traded. (and the Rams have a long illustrious history of trading away players so they can become stars on other teams) What's worse is that the OC Pat Shurmur has gotten a case of the dumbasses. Last week against the Jags the Rams were in the game, hell they were even winning. How many carries did SJ get in the second half? Something like 3-5, which is bullshit. Hey Shurmur, SJ is like a badass racecar set and when your friends come over all you want to do is dick around with your pogs. This makes you an idiot and borderline asshole. On the real though, everyone gets worried about SJ but he's one of those guys that can take the rock 30 times a game, hell he needs 30+ touches.

Finally, if you want to know more about him, SJ has his own little website. It's ok, he basically talks about how he likes architecture, fashion, and trucking fools.

Alright NFL related issues in the comment section.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

We're men...Men in tights



Ahh yes the NFL combine, the only time you can view 20 something’s in tight spandex and not feel completely prop 8.

First thing about the Combine. It’s just a measuring stick. An insurance policy if you will. I always like to relate the combine to ACT/SAT scores, but Icehouse made a great point suggesting that the draft is essentially the college application process.

Let me explain. As a player you have a body of work. (High School…GPA) however, the pro teams still want to make sure you are legit. (ACT/SAT) That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Now some people get all extreme on me. Some say OHHHHH snap he just ran a 4.3 he’s lets draft his ass. Others claim that the combine is a total overhyped waste. When in reality it’s somewhere in the middle.

I’d also just like to point out that the combine is not all about crazy ass exercises. There are interviews, (examining various things) the infamous wonderlic, and other intangibles. Those other intangibles coaches look at are: how do players compete in a drill? How do they deal with the media? Did they prepare? (personally I think this is huge)

So going back to our little college analogy. Imagine you’re Harvard, you have a bunch of kids with high GPA’s, Some participated in many extra-curricular activities (intangibles) but at the end of the day you’ll still look at that SAT score to make sure what you read on that application (film) is legit.

Now that we got that out of the way let’s examine those standardized tests. (All 40’s laser timed…which means they’re legit)

“The SAT was easy”
Pat White- How can you not love White. The guy seems like just a happy go lucky QB, who happens to be a great athlete. The evolution of White began this season, proving that could throw the ball on a consistent basis. The next step occurred during the Senior Bowl where White showed incredible accuracy under center. (a major concern for shotgun QB’s) Finally, White proved he was an athlete running a 4.55 40, and a 35 inch vertical. During the receiver/QB drills he again showcased his touch. He doesn’t have that perfect Peyton release, but you know what, neither does Romo or Warner. However, the wise Dr. Saturday made an excellent point about White. He’s not really a lights out QB, and he’s not really a lights out receiver. He’s in Football purgatory. Regardless, I’m still rooting for him.

Connor Barwin- Who’s this guy? He’s a 6’4 256 lb defensive end from Cincinnati. This past season he recorded 11 sacks and 15.5 TFL’s. This was his first year playing the position. Prior to the season Barwin played TE, but was evidently moved to the dark side because of the Natti’s spread. So the production is there, but what about them skillz? 4.66 40, A vertical jump of 40.5, and was a top performer in several other agility drills. I became of fan of Barwin when I saw him play against Tech in the Orange bowl. One of the sports cliché’s that actually exists is a motor. Mario Williams has it, Julius Peppers has it, Chris Long has it, and so does Barwin. The greatest thing about this guy is that he’s essentially a poor man’s Chris Long. Where do you want to put him? DE? Fine. OLB in either a 3-4 or a 4-3 under front? Go for it. A third TE? He’s your guy.

Ian Johnson- Ahh yes America’s favorite running back/knitter combo. Johnson stood out in what was a lackluster RB weekend. Now to be sure, Johnson’s performance last weekend may have ensured that he actually got drafted in the first place.

What? You think GRH is always big ballin. Ian Johnson said F-that noise while he was running his 4.46 40. He told you to check yourself when he ran a 4.18 pro agility run. Finally, during his 26 rep bench press he was whistling “ farmer in the dell.”

Is Ian Johnson going on the second day? Probably. Did he run a scheme at Boise that is similar to the Broncos, Colts, Falcons, and Packers, Yep. Is he really just a cooler, faster version of Mike Hart. I think so. But you know what screw it. I’m making Ian a friend of GRH. I hope he gets a nice paycheck to buy some stuff for that sweet ass wife of his.

Rhett Bomar- The prodigal son has returned. After leaving Boomer Sooner, Bomar took a giant shit on 1-AA competition while playing at Sam Houston State. Bomar has always had a good arm, and he impressed during his freshman year at OK, but still there isn’t a hell of a lot of film with him against elite competition. Now, not that these combine drills are all that important for QB’s but the one thing I look at is footwork. That is, the ability to sidestep a rusher and fire it. Bradford ran a 4.06 pro agility run which would make him the Best QB, RB, and WR. Does that translate to an NFL QB? Not really. But Bomar’s performance in the tests and throwing drills, really helped him last weekend. At the end of the day, Don’t fret for Rhett, because he always has a sweet fallback gig as a car salesman.


Brian Robiske (Honorable Mention)

“Oh I’m a terrible test taker”

Andre Smith- All tests= N/A. Yeah so Andre basically cost himself $25 mil by claiming “I’m not in shape.” And then goes AWOL on the combine. Great job, you may have dropped to the #4 tackle.

Running Backs- This year’s class wasn’t really great, but the Big three, Moreno, McCoy and Wells didn’t really impress. Don’t get me wrong these guys will be 1st/2nd round picks, and I think they will all be serviceable pro’s. However, they didn’t do anything to help/separate themselves in the combine.

“My dad’s on the board of Trustees so it’s no big deal”

Aaron Curry-My main man Mike Mayock calls Curry the safest pick in the draft, and I’d have to agree with him. Curry has everything you want in a Linebacker. Size, speed, and tackling. Curry at 6’2 254 running a 4.56 40 and busting out 25 reps on the bench has all the athletic tools. However, it’s the diversity of the guy that really gives scouts a boner. At Wake (A program I highly respect) Curry played the Sam in an under front. In other situations he was either playing the Mike or Will in the same scheme. Finally, sometimes they would set that under front to the field/bench and Curry would cover down Receivers in 11 and 10 personnel settings. I’d especially look at the 2X2 sets where curry was set to the field and acted in the same way as a nickel back. In short, Curry is the #1 linebacker and he didn’t disappoint. He can play every linebacker position in any scheme, and it really depends how teams will utilize him.

Brian Orakpo- If curry is the safest pick, Orakpo is a close second. Orakpo has the ability to play an end in a 4-3 or a OLB in a 3-4. He ran a 4.7 40 which would put him in the top ten linebacker times. I may be biased because he went to the same high school as my former roommates, however Orakpo can play, and will be a great addition to any team.

Jason Smith- By default Jason Smith became the #1 tackle during the combine. Smith (Andre) went AWOL and no one else really established themselves. Congrats, Jason. You may have earned yourself $25 mil by not sucking.

QB’s- Sanchez and Stafford did not disappoint during the combine. Meaning they didn’t F up. They both put up good numbers, and they'll both throw the ball well. That’s about it. It’s your move Detroit.

So there’s my take on the combine. Who knows what Crabtree will run at his pro-day, or if Andre Smith will develop a brain. All I know is that it’s an excuse to talk about football in February.