Friday, June 3, 2011

Don't Mess With the Street

You can make fun of me all you want. But I have several rules. Don't mess with my family, don't mess with my dog, and don't mess with SESAME STREET.

I know we don't like politics on this blog, but I feel that if you come at Big Bird, I have to step up.

So here's the first problem. Shapiro obviously got his ass kicked in school. "I want to put a cap in them?" That was easily the least gangster shit I've ever seen in my entire life, and trust me, I know non-gangster shit. I look in the mirror every morning.

You wan't to see something gangster? Here's Bert and Ernie calling fish into a boat.

Next he says Sesame Street was made for "impoverished blacks and hispanics." Which is partially true. Sesame Street was made for ALL low socio-economic children. So that they would have a supplementary resource TO LEARN HOW TO READ, WRITE, AND PERFORM BASIC MATH SKILLS. So yes, In a country that these assholes think they live in. A country where everyone can make it if you work hard. Sesame Street is a bad thing, because It's an educational resource for kids to learn (Kids, who may not have all the shithead resources your parents bought for you.)

Let me make my point a little more to clearer. He said Sesame Street was bad because it helps low socio-economic kids learn. Learning is bad.

So yes. All of those studies that show how Sesame Street is correlated to increased academic achievement are bullshit. Especially during formative years which are critical to a child's development. But yes, bash Sesame Street because it helps kids learn, it's a shocking thing to do, and you're an asshole.

But here's the funny thing. I watched a ton of Sesame Street growing up, as well as Square One!!! and Reading Rainbow. However, people who know me would tell me I'm fairly conservative. I bitch all the time about taxes, and bureaucracy. But shit I still kiss my copy of The Wealth of Nations before I go to bed every night. I guess I wasn't corrupted by all those words and numbers Big Bird threw into my face. You know who else used words and numbers? STALIN!!!

Speaking of Adam Smith, do you ever get the feeling that these people like the IDEA of Adam Smith and not the actual philosophy? I mean I like the idea of being a vegetarian, but shit, I love those steaks.

I mean, shit they were bitching about a male prom queen in VA. (and to Ms. USA 2008: hmmmmmm looks like SOMEONE lost a prom election) But really, isn't a prom court essentially a representation of the open market of high school popularity? Isn't this the competition you speak of? Let me give you other examples of the capitalism (market) we all know and love. The Presidential Election, The Grange Fair Apple Pie competition, The Baseball Hall of Fame, the NFL Hall of Fame, being in a relationship, finding a spouse, Being a successful Radio host, Being a successful TV host. A gay kid won prom queen and wasn't killed and strapped to a fence. There are worse things that can happen.

If you'll allow me to put on my tin foil hat, here's where I think these people aren't actually Americans, but rather, CHINESE SPIES!!! EVERY blue blooded American knows that nobody actually gives a shit about the prom king/queen. We didn't even have a court in high school and I bet most people couldn't remember their king/queen. Point is, everyone knows that prom isn't about that. It's about getting wasted at the after party. Shit, that's like America 101.

But here's the real problem. They make fun of liberal douchetards for trying to force their agenda on them, yet they want people to watch THEIR shows, read THEIR books, Live in the world like THEM. So congrats guy who got his ass kicked in high school, Ms. USA 2008, and Shawn Uberamerican. You've succeeded in making me disagree with you just as much as I disagree with self righteous liberals. I didn't use the word hate because Elmo taught me not to use that word.

Way to go assholes, you just went and pissed off the wrong crew.

But I hear you loud and clear. Teaching kids is wrong. I'm done here, take the mic Ernie

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