Senior Tim Tebow Rethinking Not Hanging Out with Godless Heathens

GAINESVILLE, Fla. — At the precipice of his senior and final year at the University of Florida, a wayward QB Tim Tebow is rethinking his decision to stay in and not hang out with the massive throng of inebriates, Jezebels and heathens at Florida, all of whom would gladly think he was the coolest guy ever.

"I mean, you only go to college once, right?..." said an obviously uncomfortable Tebow. "They can't ALL be THAT bad?"

Tebow claims that his devotion to the craft of circumcision prohibits him from delving into the ranks of the godless sodomites that routinely give him high fives and ask to hang out with him. However, as of late, Tebow has been expressing what many consider to be a change of heart on the matter, especially with regard to drunken frivolity with members of the opposite gender.

Rodney "Two Hole" Branski, a 6-year business or history junior at Gainesville, says that he's "totally stoked" Tebow may be starting to loosen up, and would gladly buy him a shot or nine.

"Dude, he's the best," said Branski. "WHO'S BETTER THAN TEBOW?! NOBODY!!" Branski then ended the interview by throwing up everywhere.

Monday Morning Shit Storm

Bad. Ass. Superbowl. It wasn't the best ever, but I'm pretty sure it had four of the most insane plays you'll ever see in that game. See sometimes the GAME can be exciting.

But football is over, I'm going cold turkey, until this afternoon when I start thinking about the draft and tweaking an under front to accommodate quarters...there I go again.

Today's shit storm is going to deal with pork. No not the Bacon Explosion, I'm talking pork barrel spending.


We won't go into politics, but suffice it to say that some of these earmarks are downright hilarious.

(Still don't know why the Lattimer foundation for the economic advancement of Lattimer, has yet to receive any type of help)

Anyway I was thinking, what would it look like if we started earmarking sports.

For Example: If I was in power I would most definitely set aside $20 Million for Virginia Tech football passing game development.


Don't get me wrong play action passes and "throw to the fast guy" are cool, but we could use a little help.

So for the shit storm, imagine we have a bill, and we want to stuff that thing with as much sports pork as possible.

What we need:
1. Amount of money.
2. Sports related.
3. Purpose. (make up a foundation or something)

And as always take your flame wars elsewhere.

Ok, let's earmark this mother.