Analyzing Ceremonial First Pitches

Every professional baseball game has the ceremonial first pitch. This tradition kind of confused me at first, but when I realized how anticlimatic actual first pitches are, I understood that the ceremonial first pitch is a good substitute for a tip-off, face-off, kick off, or what have you.

So now I like the ceremonial first pitch. Specifically, I like that I know have a relatable benchmark to measure myself against people more famous/important/lucky than me. For instance, I know Ryan Reynolds is a sexy piece of ripped manmeat, but how's his arm? Two-seamer of four-seamer? Shit like that.

Our 43rd President had a baseball pedigree and even in retirement still had the oomph to throw a strike.

Which makes me wish he just caught that one dude's shoe and hummed it back at him. How awesome would that have been? As a comparison, the current President, an admitted White Sox fan, one-hopped his most recent effort.

There have been a string of recent memorable first pitches. Unfortunately for the youngest of the group, John Wall ended up doing his best Mariah Carey impression.

If I was in charge of the black arts of sports superstition, your best player throwing like a girl would be the equivalent of throwing a black cat through a mirror placed under a ladder.

Dirk's motion was pretty hilarious. He got the ball over the plate, but it probably wouldn't have been a strike, even on himself.


I would really like to know who could throw the best ceremonial first pitch. I'd love it if some celeb could sling one in the low 80s. I bet Redford could, back in the day. Furthermore, I think the holy grail would be some actress hucking a knuckleball that the catcher couldn't handle.

Until then, we'll just have to settle for either the embarrassment of local heroes, or shit like this.


BAAAAAAAALK!

MLB Saturday's Triple Play

St. Louis Cardinals (-155) at San Fransisco Giants Over/Under 7.5 runs

PARLAY Nash Keim's Cardinals and the Under 7.5 runs tonight as Chris Carpenter takes the mound against Barry Zito (1-5 4.02 ERA). In 23 innings over four starts, Carpenter has given up one unearned run. He's limiting opponents to a .127 batting average and has 23 strikeouts to four walks. Those stats are RIDICULOUS. Couple that with the fact that Zito has a 2.36 ERA at AT&T Park and slugger Albert Pujols is in a slump, you've got the makings of a low-scoring affair.

Chicago White Sox (-110) at Kansas City Royals

Although the Royals have been playing good baseball as of late, history shows that they struggle against White Sox ace Mark Buehrle (6-1 ERA 2.59). The White Sox are 27-12 when Buehrle takes the mound against the Royals, winning his last three starts against them as he's posted a 2.50 ERA. The left-hander held Kansas City to two runs and six hits over five innings April 11 before the White Sox rallied for a 4-2 victory. Play is on the White Sox money line tonight

Detroit Tigers (-134) at Baltimore Orioles

The play here is clearly on the Tigers with one of the hottest pitchers in the MLB takes the mound in Baltimore tonight. Justin Verlander (5-2 3.55 ERA) is 5-0 with a 0.85 ERA in his last six starts, striking out 60 in 42 1-3 innings. He's 3-0 with a 1.29 ERA in four starts versus the Orioles.