And now, a post on women's basketball.

On some level, this is true. There are people out there that prefer to see fundamentals and the plays and everything. I mean, look at how popular college basketball is. Of course, the fundamentals actually AREN'T better in the WNBA or college, the players in each league just aren't good enough to be creative or flashy, therefore there are no distractions.

Personally, I support women's basketball. If/when anybody here has a daughter, you are really going to prefer that she has role models to idolize that don't involve skimpy clothes and sex tapes. As much as I love to watch women's beach volleyball, when I have a daughter (it's inevitable. Karma's a bitch), I'm going to prefer watching Diana Taurasi with her. Trust me on this one, everybody. You don't want a daughter that thinks the only way to make her daddy happy is to have horrible body ideals and to dress slutty. Chicks with daddy issues make the sluttiest strippers.

But back to hoops. Everybody knows that the best thing in basketball is the slam dunk. There's really no question about it. You could go up to anyone who says that they "prefer fundamentals" and ask them if slam dunks are awesome, and they have to be all, "well, yeah." It'd be like asking an anti-war protester if a tactical SEAL team insertion by HALO jump to have a sniper with a Barret .50 cal put a round through an engine block, stopping the truck, and then the team closing in and taking all passengers in the truck prisoner with zero casualties is awesome. They would be all, "well, yeah."

Which is why FIBA is considering lowering the rims for the women's game. That's one very lame jump for women's basketball popularity, one big step backwards for women's equality.

But of course, we all know that women aren't equal anyway, when athletics are concerned (compare all track and field world records and tell me which events women score better in. Don't worry, I'll wait). Here's looking forward to some OMG funks from the chick game. They'll be unimpressive, to be sure, but what the hell. Hopefully it'll at least lead to some sustainability in the women's game. For the sake of future women everywhere. They need better role models.

It's. To. DAY.

You're motherfucking welcome.

I love you, NFL. I love you so much. And you've come back to me.

Now is the happiest moment of the year. So many dreams and aspirations. I'm going to turn the TV on this evening and gaze wonderingly like a child staring at the stars and dreaming of being an astronaut.

I know that college football started last weekend. That was all good and fun and whatnot. But this. THIS is the big stage. This is where the wild things are. Here there be monsters. THIS IS EASY COMPANY.

So. To start off the season right, I'm breaking out the first edition of the GRH power rankings for things that make football season better (other than football).

10. Car wrecks - Just when you thought all you had to worry about were 11 big dudes trying to hurt your best player, BAM!

9. 31 other entities to hate instead of your life.

8. Seeing players you loved as collegians succeed at a higher level.

7. Mesquite wood - Smells good when it burns. Tastes good when it saturates your meat.

6. Tito's Vodka - Classy, and goes down smooth at any time of the day.

5. The look on Raiders fans' faces when they realize that yes, they will suck again this year (applicable to week 1 only).

4. Natural Disasters - Hurricanes, Forest Fires and Tornadoes have all happened in the last week near NFL stadiums. Keep up the good work, God!

3. An excuse to skip church for drinking purposes.

2. Cheerleaders.

1. The hits - Oh how these hits are so much more fucking intense than college. GET ON THAT CYCLE INSTEAD OF GOING TO PSYCH 202, PUSSIES.

That's how things are this week. Let's see how it shakes out. Everyone have fun tonight. Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.