Now athletes are young, rich, and make their money with their bodies. They also have something called an "offseason." It's like they lumped all their weekends into one giant one. Furthermore, there's only one team that can really say that they succeeded at their jobs. When they do, hooboy is it a party.

You see that? Big Papi is still at the office. He hasn't even really begun to party yet. So for today's Shit Storm, name one party or celebration that you always wanted to go to. They can be parties you know about, like the party where Ray Lewis stabbed people, or one that you just assume happened, like 'Terry Bradshaw's Super Bowl Victory Moonshineathon.'
My choice is the party that the NCAA football National Champion Texas Longhorns had at Matt McConaughey's Beverly Hills mansion. After winning the Rose Bowl, the entire Longhorns team went and had a rager at UT's most famous cheerleader's house. You KNOW that shit was off the chain. Ramonce Taylor was still there, Vince, the Griffin twins, Aaron Ross, Casey Studdard, and even Limas Sweed's crazy ass. It's at a house of the thrower of one of Austin's most infamous fiestas. So yeah. Party.