Showing posts with label SMIDGEN ALERT SMIDGEN ALERT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SMIDGEN ALERT SMIDGEN ALERT. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Caption Contest!


Hobbers, it's an uncharted day today: RICKY RANDOM CAPTION CONTEST!

No celebrity athletes today, folks. This picture, I thought was too good to pass up. For added pleasure, just think about what these two goons are probably doing today: Working at Enterprise Rent-a-car and living at home, still keeping in touch with Ty Willingham.

Jersey: So that pretty much ruins 90% of your activities for your weekend, eh?
Sweatshirt: No, I'm a switch hitter.
Jersey: Wow.

Sweatshirt: You should see the other guy.
Jersey: Wow.

Sweatshirt: I found my Dad's Atari, and it's got a joy stick like this.
Jersey: Wow.

Sweatshirt: There's a better chance of me playing with this cast than of you playing at 100%.
Jersey: Wow....I mean, yeah...

I implore you. Please do better than I did.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Don't Overlook the SEC Championship Game


"Whoa whoa whoa! What does this title say? Doth mine eyes deceive me? How could one be so bold as to assert that the fine surveyors of College Football who also regularly view this website are not aware that the game this Saturday between No. 1 Alabama and No. 2 Florida not only has national title implications, but quite possibly is the national championship, or at least the nearest realization of it, and will probably be a game worth remembering for decades? Sorrow and folly to the portly scribe of said article!"

If you're thinking anything like this, hang up the gown, Shakespeare, and think about it.

The SEC Championship is building an enormous hype, which it will in all likelihood live up to. Since losing to Ole Miss, the Florida Gators have been on an unprecedented tear, scoring 414 points to their opposition's 97 points. Prior to that it was 112 to 19, so without a 31-30 slip up in the Swamp, these guys are more than No. 1 in the BCS, they're probably getting inaugurated in January. Nobody - save for that pesky Houston Nutt and his band of Rebel Scum - has been able to touch the Gators. The chatter among the talking heads is the offensive explosion that is bound to happen in Altanta, with Urban Meyer and Timmy Tebow sitting on the detonator.

And what about ol' reliable Alabama? If 2007 was a season marked by nothing but parity, 2008 can be remembered as a year of consistency with the Tide at the helm. While some of these games have been closer than perhaps they should have been, namely LSU and Ole Miss, there is only one statistic that matters in football, nay, in all of sports: wins verses losses. Without a doubt, the Crimson Tide have earned their respect.

Nick Saban's method, in college anyway, is proven: get freaking men-freaks on your respective lines, and get some corners. In fact, the former defensive coordinator has been hanging his hat on that tremendous defense. The corners play strong, man coverage, and they've got defensive lineman that look like Michael Clarke Duncan's older, bigger, and less-jolly quadruplet fathers, especially that one who "slimmed" down to just under 400 pounds.

The marquee is up: The land's most explosive offense versus the land's most stagnant defenses.

But we can't overlook the SEC Championship in this way: think about Florida's defense and Alabama's offense. (Oh! That's what he meant! He had me going with that silly title! Ooo now I'm even more interested in what he has to say!)

Quick! Name me three good players on Florida's offense. I'll give you time...wait? Tebow and Harvin and...? No, Emmanuel Moody doesn't count. Well? That's right. No one. What people forget is that Florida's defense is also one of the best in the country. Remember that stat earlier about their point spread? Look at how few point the other schools had. Florida's defense is one of the highest scoring defenses in the country, and has an average higher than some teams at the bottom of some conferences. This team is much more balanced than previously thought, which is easy to do when you have a Heisman Trophy winner taking your snaps.

Speaking of balance, what about Bama's offense? It lacks pizazz. It lacks flare. It lacks a male quarterback. But what it doesn't lack is strength and a bunch of mistakes. Bama ranks dead last in the SEC in penalties, and has a future Hall of Famer in 340-pound left tackle Andre Smith anchoring a behemoth line that allows kids like Glen "Starbucks" Coffee. John Parker Davis Thomas George Daniel Edward Wilson is also an adequate quarterback that manages his offense well, in spite of the fact that no one will ever remember his name following this season. Look for his name to be an Aflac Trivia Question during an ESPN halftime around 2010.

Not to mention that the Tide has been rolling deep in fake ID's this season. Bama plays 15 true freshman, and that was at the beginning of the season. The most notable is WR Julio "I'm No Spaniard!" Jones, while his recruitment was highly documented and the others are hidden behind a veil of anonymity hung by their impressive veteran-like play.

So while this game is highly touted and publicized (and rightly so), don't believe all the hype. This game will be much closer than the Vegas line purports of Florida's offense and the undefeated defense of Alabama would let on.

My pick: Florida. By a smidgen. Sorry, Forrest.