You're a dead man, Wladimir

I'll punch you right in your stupid schnoz. You won't even see it coming. You ugly bastard, I'll slap your ass around and choke you with an apron as if you just burnt the meatloaf.

I was telling everybody that Hayden was going to be hot when she was in Remember the Titans. What?! Yeah, it was weird, so what? She IS hot. I was right! LIKE ALWAYS.

Anyway, Wlad, I'll probably be doing you a favor, rearranging your face like that. Might even knock some sense into what is probably a stupid thick skull of yours. SHE'S MINE, YOU HEAR?!

Ah, I'm just playing with you. I'm blissfully still in love with Julia Mancuso. So what kind of work you in, Wlad?

/Googles "Wladimir Klitschko"

Oh. You know I was just messing around, right?

The WNBA just made my head explode.

I was going to try to write something funny or clever or quip on the absurdity of this, but I can't. You're just going to have to watch it.

Seriously, this is all kinds of wacky.

What is it about Detroit that makes people want to fight?