Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Brian Scalabrine: I call this position ginger's plight. It symbolizes the struggle of the red-haired human species in the face of daunting pressure to fit in despite being hideously ugly.
Now let's transition through vomiting giraffe to open clambake. Ah, that takes me back. Remember when I was on the Celtics and everyone loved me? They even had a nickname for me: Mascot. I'm not sure what it means, I'm not as plugged into urban culture as I used to be. Now breathe deeply, you feel that? The opening of the chest along the lateral plane? That's why this pose is so popular with expecting mothers.
Ok, now take a twirling monkey into presenting panda. Mmmmmm. Breathe deeply, settle into it. Oooh, I'm tight back there today. Yeah. It's stretches like this that keep me limber throughout the grind of the NBA season. Hm? No, I've never played a full NBA season. How many what? Oh, I played 88 minutes last season. Including the playoffs.
Look, whatever. It's a great way to meet chicks. Which... is why... I'm doing it in a park with a dude. Wait a second, who are you?
Random gay dude: Just someone who's enjoying the view ya big flame-ball.