The WNBA just made my head explode.

I was going to try to write something funny or clever or quip on the absurdity of this, but I can't. You're just going to have to watch it.

Seriously, this is all kinds of wacky.

What is it about Detroit that makes people want to fight?

Chris Andersen and Darius Miles are on the Warpath to freak America out.

That is to say, they are both attempting comebacks to the NBA.

Chris "The Birdman" Andersen got off of his two-year drug suspension mid-season, and his contract was snapped up by his old team, the New Orleans Hornets. Of course, they were in a pretty good groove, and never ended up using him.

The Birdman was ok was a super-athletic big guy, and of course was a white dunk contest participant, so you have to give at least some props. Unfortunately, his performance was highlighted by a moment reminiscent of the end of Tin Cup, or possibly Blue Crush. Unfortunately for Birdman, in real life, people don't like to see you try and fail a hundred times, and then cheer when you succeed. Turns out we hate that sappy bullshit. All it does is look stupid and painful.

Then he was suspended for two years after a one-time positive drug test. Think about that one real hard.

Then there's Darius "Neighbors call the fire station off the blunts I smoke" Miles. A prep stud, and member of Lattimer's fantasy St. Louis Supersonics, Miles came out of high school, with all of the promise in the world, super athleticism, an NBA body, a decent shot, and mad flavor. He played a few good years on the Clippers back when they were the most fun team in the league (consisting of Miles, Quentin Richardson, Corey Maggete, the Kandiman, et al). Then started to get bounced around until he microfractured his knee, and himself into obscurity.

Another problem with Miles getting picked up is that he has to sit out for his first ten games for, you guessed it, a drug suspension.

He was still awesome in "National Lampoon's Van Wilder." His best line was, "yo, Van, did you invite those freak honeys from Mount Holyoke?"

CFB top 10 preview

...Next up #9 LSU
(Yes I know the video is from 2006. Yes it is that badass)

Gut Reaction-obligatory top ten for the defending champs.

Offense-The Tigers only replace one offensive lineman. However other than Brandon Lafell (WR) The tigers will have some new faces on offense. RB Keiland Williams and human cannon Trindon Holliday should provide some offensive firepower. Neither slated starter at QB has taken meaningful snaps at the 1-a level.

Defense-The nightmare enducing defense of a year ago will have to replace seven starters, as well as, DC Bo Pelini. With that being said, man eater Tyson Jackson DE, Kirston Pittman DE, and Darry Beckwith MLB should help the reloading process.

Special Teams-I bet Colt David and Brady Dalfrey are really good at making tape balls.

Schedule-OMG OMG APP STATE AUG. 30!!!!!!!! other than that the tigers travel to Auburn Sep. 20, then to Florida Oct. 11 and the Bulldogs come to town Oct. 25

Ramblings-This rambling is somewhat biased. You see. LSU is the only SEC team I like. In my older years I choose which teams I like or dislike not by arbitrary issues such as style of play, geographic location, or head coaches. No, I choose teams I like by their fan base, and LSU fans are by far the most tolerable in the SEC. But enough of that I think everyone knows LSU is in the reloading process, and righfully so. They won their NC and now its time to play the role of spoiler in the SEC.

First lets talk about this reloading. Since Ryan Perriloux didn't know when to hold em or when to fold em, he is now playing ball for Jacksonville State. Way to go Ryan. This situation leaves LSU with two QB choices. Freshman Jarret Lee and JR. (Harvard Transfer) Andrew Hatch. If you want to win a SEC championship the two things you simply cannot have at QB is a Freshman and a nerd. Even with an experienced O-line returning nobody, with a straight face, can say LSU will win the SEC. now challenging for the SEC West is another story.

You have to admit Les Miles has a pretty good track record, and even with all the holes to fill, the current trend in LSU football leaves me to believe that the new faces are probably pretty f-ing good. Whats more, is alot of these guys saw some significant playing time during the NC run last year. (Demetrius Byrd WR, and Ricky Jean-Francois DT) Combine this with the fact that Auburn and Alabama really don't impress me, and i feel that LSU, once again, has a decent shot to make the SEC championship game, and then all bets are off.

Now the best part. With this reloading process, it looks like LSU will be underdogs in three big games, (Auburn, Florida, and Georgia) all of which will have NC implications. And you just know with the way the SEC works, LSU is going to win at least one of these games. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the Georgia game in Baton Rouge, but its really irrelevant. Whenever it happens, LSU is going to fuck up somebody's national championship world, and it's going to be great to watch. In fact, Sep. 20th to Nov. 1st is prime fuck up season in the SEC. Now, do the Perrilloux-less tigers have a chance to get Croomed on Sep. 27th, or lose to any other SEC team. Hell yeah they do, its the SEC, shit happens. But if LSU wins the SEC west it's a great season for them, if they shit on some team's birthday cake it's a good season. If they don't do any of that then I'm an idiot.

Sports Commercials

...Thoughts to Consider.

Who exactly is Under Armour University playing?

Another Best Sports Commercial

This one might take the cake.

Seemingly, Guy Ritchie is the world's most famous ad director, because that's all he really does these days.

Nike tapped Ritchie to do this ad (they are essentially a series, but the several different parts make up the whole), a first-person account of the highlights when one makes an astronomical rise in the land of European Soccer. In addition to several famous footballers (Ronaldinho, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, Rafa Marquez, etc.) and one famous coach (Arsenal's Arsene Wenger), by watching this commercial, you get to experience the highs and lows of America's least favorite sport.

A couple of things I like are Cesc Fabregas kissing the viewer, the double thumbs-up at the pool party, the fact that the main character is Dutch, and of course the cyclical nature of the ad in it's entirety.

This commercial is so fucking cool it warrants more than one viewing.

NFL CRIME WATCH: Johnny Jolly, Jr.

In order to keep our readers as safe as possible from the menaces that roam our city streets, warring with rival gangs every weekend, The Ghost of Roy Hobbs will now be keeping you abreast of developments involving NFL players and crime.

Pictured above: Johnny, at his jolliest. Of course, hurting any Clausen brother would make me feel that happy, too.

Johnny Jolly, Jr. was arrested last night in possession of 200 grams of a controlled substance, a second degree felony in the state of Texas. What substance? We don't know. How controlled? We don't know. Johnny Jolly, Jr.? Drafted out of Texas A&M in the sixth round by the Green Bay Packers, Jolly, Jr. played in 10 games last year, recording 21 tackles before tearing his rotator cuff.

Having gotten the particulars out of the way, did I mention that this guy's name is Johnny Jolly, Jr.? Does anybody else find this funny?

The Green Bay Packers have expressed concern that this may lead to Jolly Junior's being suspended for violating the NFL conduct policy. Of course, I'm sure old J3 is probably more concerned with not going to jail than anything Roger Goodell is going to say to him.

Threat level: Nate Newton. If controlled substance is crack: Lil' Wayne.