Thanks for nothing, Roger Goodell

R.I.P.


So now the wedge is outlawed. Sweet. Great. Thanks. The one, ONE play in football games where I was guaranteed to see some hits is now pussified. Thanks for nothing.

What is the deal with this? The NFL now has more rules and gray areas than Sexual Harassment laws. It's absurd to think that at the highest level of a sport where men have been grinding and battling for a decade, we're going to all of a sudden remove all violence. In what universe does this make sense?

Fellow Americans (and assorted cool foreigners), we are witnessing the destruction of our greatest contribution to the human race. Tackling quarterbacks now more resembles playing Operation, what with the extra care you have to take to not collide with any of the forbidden zones (anything not covered by a vest). Virtually any hit resulting in a decleating or snotbubbles is outlawed. Catching passes over the middle is now the fancy of the weak and lazy, as opposed to be the least fun thing in the world.

Why don't you go ahead and kill Santa Claus too, Goodell?

And now. Now we're outlawing the wedge. First developed by the Romans as a tactic to punch a hole in the hearts of a defensive breach, a couple of millenia later, we're removing the last semblance of the rape and pillage history that made football great to begin with.

"Wedge" used to be a cool word, too. But now it's only going to be used in contexts referring to cheese, shoes, sex pillows and this guy.

This is how democracy dies.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

I wanna be like Mike! I AM going to be like Michael Jordan as soon as I can get the hell up out of here. Booty grindin with two hos.

Everybody high-five the air, we made it through another week!

The Rockets had a dance-off the other day. Seriously. Unfortunately, there's no Ron Artest sighting, but this video features all of our favorites, with the sexiest Luis Scola moves ever. Brent "Bones" Barry had to get in on the act.

On the flip side of things, there is some stuff that's just sad. Ignorance and hate plague our world as a whole, but they seem to define conservative talk radio. Magic Johnson rules, you stupid, ugly fucks.

Ok, so the NFL (No Fun League) has a shitload of rules. This we know. They also have a rule against rehearsed, or group celebrations. This is the stupidest shit in the world. I want to see these. I LOVE to see these. The redskins receivers jumping up to give a group high-five? Illegal. The St. Louis Rams dice game? Illegal. Shit, even the Mile-High Salute gets you a fine, and that celebration was fucking awesome. Anyways, there's other rules about not replaying the fined celebration, either. Try to youtube T.O.'s homage to the Olympics, you can't! So, you get to read about the latest, greatest celebration.

Oh, those Japanese. Always with the tricks.

Not sure why, but I had this song stuck in my head, and remembered I used to have a huge crush on Alicia Silverstone. So here is the sweet ass video.

Ok, that's enough for now. I've just been here too damn long. I gots to get out of here. One love.