Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Bad Blood in Las Cruces

How many different things are wrong with this clip? How many can you count?

First of all, the Kings and Mavs are playing in Las Cruces, New Mexico, home of New Mexico State. If you're wondering why that's going on, it's because it was Kings coach Reggie Theus' only coaching job before going to the Kings. Well, unless you count the role he played on "Hang Time," a Saturday morning program on NBC that came on just before "Saved By The Bell." The team of the high school that he coached was co-ed, played on a portable goal in what looked to be an alley, and the best player was a front-wedgied Anthony Anderson.

Digression aside, let's get to the actual fracas. Brad Miller gets tangled up on a rebound with a person who seems to be Nick Fazekas. Instead of just letting things go, he decides to drop Devin Harris, who had absolutely nothing to do with the play. Upon this, Josh "J-5" Howard thinks in pertinent that he run across the entire court (he really had nothing to do with the play) to sucker-shove Brad Miller twice.

The Role of Brad Miller:
Bitch moves. He attacked a player who had nothing to do with what happened. Furthermore, what happened was simply that he jumped into a guy, there was some contact, but had there been a call it would have been weak. At this seemingly normal occurrence on a court, Miller finds his best option to be assaulting the first person he finds in a Mavs uniform. Bitch move, Miller. This is should just be chalked up as reason #483,916 why I'm really happy that Brad Miller is no longer on Team USA.

The Role of Devin Harris:
Getting knocked to the ground, getting in the face of the guy that knocked him to the ground. All fine, since Harris didn't retaliate.

The Role of Josh Howard:
A team leader he felt the need to protect his teammate. I can understand this, but the double-forearm to the back of Miller seems a little trite. If he strikes the player in retaliation, it's gonna be a fine/suspension, so go for the gusto, or show some common fucking sense and get between the two.

This is all sorts of idiocy. First of all, this type of shit always happens to Brad Miller in preseason. Anyone remember when Miller pissed off Shaq, prompting him to take an attempted cold-cock sucker-punch haymaker at Miller? It was lucky for both players that Shaq airballed that punch. Miller would probably be dead or in a coma, and Shaq's career could have potentially ended (had Miller died for injuries sustained).

Furthermore, this is a preseason game in LAS CRUCES. This isn't the Garden, the Palace, the Q, nothing cool. This is the goddamn home of the New Mexico State Lobos. Shit, people, why? Is your manhood dependent on this Brad Miller? What remains of your manhood? J-5, you had time to think about your actions running the 80 feet to Miller. Hope you don't like money, homeboy, because you're looking at a fine and a suspension. Devin Harris, keep it real. Reggie Theus, get your team under control. If you can't control Brad Fucking Miller, what is Ron Artest going to do this season? Finally, it's not a real game, guys. It's preseason. Have you seen a football preseason game? Nobody tries. Follow their lead and stop taking it/yourselves so seriously.

The one bright spot of this is that it seems that Josh Howard now views himself as a team leader on the Mavs. This is good, because the Mavs need a leader to be playing on the court, and Dirk is not that guy. Take a backseat, you ugly Aryan asshole, J-5's in control of your team now.

Finally, I hope that this is not a harbinger of things to come, pretty much since the league averages one really bad fight a year. From the Malice at the Palace to last year's MSG Sissyfight, the league could do without lots of suspensions and bad blood. That being said, if a fight does need to happen, I want to see Knicks v. Hornets. Zach Randolph's got guns. Tyson Chandler grew up in Compton. That would be sweet.

In other news "The Boondocks" has returned. Monday nights at 10:30 p.m. central on Cartoon Network are when the new episodes come out. So far we've seen A Pimp Named Slickback (Katt Williams) in a hilarious performance, teaching Tom DuBois how to get his wife back from Usher. The previews from next week involve Ed Wuncler III (Charlie Murphy) and Gin Rummy (Samuel L. Jackson) stealing the Freeman's car, and Riley won't snitch. It's gonna be good.

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