"You think you can take my shit?"

I heard the tape and everything, and I think it still went a little something like the video above.


It's a good day for felonious football players. Well, it's a good day for those of us who enjoy the antics of football players who commit felonies. It's been pretty slow since it was decided that those assholes are going to wait until December to sentence Vick. Deltha O'Neill's dog bit someone, which just kind of sounded like inevitability in my ears, and Isiah Thomas is taking the MSG Crazy Circus to court with him, and we'll have more on that later.

Anyways, the felonious footballers I had in mind were Tank Johnson and O.J. Simpson. Tank Johnson is bringing Dallas a couple of things it didn't need and a couple of things Dallas did, in fact, need more of. What the Cowboys didn't need was another solid defensive lineman. The boys are stacked to the gills of guys who clog the middle up. Tank Johnson better have been cheap, because he's only replacing some guys that I was growing to love. For instance, I love how Chris Canty has too many bars on his face mask. What Tank is bringing Dallas (the city) that it needed more of is violent shootings and drunk driving. Big D(eez Nuts).

OJ is a different story. Jamie Foxx once said that he wished OJ would just go somewhere and sit down. Well, he went to Vegas with some buddies, some guns, and he meant business. Now, I know that he was convicted in the court of public opinion, and acquitted in the real court, so I'm conflicted. One way or another, he's spawned many many comedic references, which have virtually all made me laugh.