BOSTON, Mass. - Citing a complete lack of tact, wit, and gamesmanship, the soul and former occupant of Peter Gammons' now dead and rotting corpse objected to the analysis made by the corpse following the series sweep of his beloved Red Sox at the hands of the New York Yankees over the weekend."He was talking crazy, saying something about how these games were going to mean something down the stretch," said a younger and healthier looking, glowing blue, and translucent figure that was an intangible representation of Gammons' soul. "These games likely won't mean anything come October. The Red Sox have dominated the series the entire season, save for this lone weekend.
"Whomever was working the strings on my body needs to be shot."
The corpse of Peter Gammons' objected on both the grounds that the sweep marks a falling off of the Sox in the wake of recent scandals and bad trades, as well as a lack of his daily dose of human brains upon which he regularly feasts.
"Look, with Big Papi down and out, the spirit -- no pun intended -- of this team may be six feet under, again, no pun intended," said Gammons', gaunt, lifeless and molding former body, mending a piece of his cheek that was falling off the yellowing bone, while gnawing on a fresh handful of medulla.
ESPN had no comment on the dispute, as is their policy when dealing with ghosts, poltergeists, demons, zombies or any other supernatural phenomenon. This policy arose after numerous allegations that angels were indeed playing in the outfield in Anaheim, Calif. in 1994.
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