Icehouse is ready

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

I hope that I have this look on my face and am in this situation in the near future. Like, in twelve hours or so.

WEEKEND. IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!

First up, staring contest. OKGO!


I know I said no more LeBron, but this is just too awesome. Hulk Hogan joining forces with the Outsiders should be taught in history books.


I laughed at this way too many times for a sane person.


Double KFC! What does it mean?

Double KFC Drive-Thru All the Way from Alex Blagg on Vimeo.

Once again. Laughed too hard at this for a sane person.


Don't ever mention Darko Milicic in the same sentence as Chris Webber. Least of all to his face.


And finally, the best 100 goals of the entire season. Shit yes.


OK. We're out of here. Do something meaningful. Because, you know...

Caption Contest!

It's going to be a good week. Baseball hath returned, the Champion's League is in full swing (and has two games today), and the most soothing golf tournament in the world fills out HD TVs with azaleas, lush greenery, and as few minorities as possible. A tradition like no other.

SO! Pictures! Pictures to caption! Please do not lump all of your captions into one comment box. More comments make me think that more people are paying attention to me, and well, I could use the ego boost.

First up, we have Gordon Hayward freaking out while Lance Thomas seems oddly at ease.


Keeping with the college hoops we have Tiger, really really happy at a Stanford game.


Keeping with the Tiger theme, we have a picture of his girlfriend from his Stanford days. This isn't a funny picture, I just want the meanest thing you can possibly say about this obviously jilted ex-lover.


Party. Caption away.

The Adventures of Dogus Balbay in America

Dogus Balbay is was a point guard for the University of Texas. After playing well in the Turkish basketball league, he has come to the United States to better himself, and hopefully make more money. These are chronicles of the trials and tribulations of culture shock.

This week: DOGUS IS DEAD! LONG LIVE DOGUS!

Dogus is dead. He has no more reason to go on living. He has been dead for quite some time now, for all intents and purposes. His ligaments, they have been torn.

Who will want Dogus now? The agents say that there is nobody in the market for a slow point guard with a treacherous left hand and no jump shot. Not even on the Kings! Shit! What will they do? No more Longhorns for Dogus, and no more basketball. Dogus fears that they will throw him out of the country like a common Armenian.

What's worse is that the team has died. No dancing this year. No fun at all. Dexter has started to eat his feelings. Avery Bradley has already sold his books, gone back to Las Vegas, and put all of his money on black. He asked if Dogus wanted to come. Dogus knows better than to dabble in games of chance.

And now Dogus will never get his hands on the trophy. No riches for Dogus, and no wishes either. All he ever wanted was to rub the sweet trophy and meet the genie inside.

Oh no! A yellow turban may get his hands on the precious trophy!


YOU BE GONE, YELLOW TURBAN!

Omar Samhan: What?

Dogus: You'll never fool Dogus! Dogus knows the tricks of the yellow turbans! Dogus has dealings with them before, in the home country!

Omar Samhan: I'm from just outside San Fransisco. Who are you?

Dogus: A thousand apologies. I thought I had seen you before. Nevertheless, HANDS OFF THE LAMP-- er, TROPHY! GOD WILL NOT LET YOU DANCE AFTER TONIGHT!


Maybe this place isn't for Dogus after all. Dogus loves this land, though. They have cleavage. And bacon. And bacon-flavored cleavage. Hopefully Dogus can stay. Maybe he'll get Brad Buckman to put in a good word for him at the Austin Toros. Maybe.

Caption Contest!

Because of the quality amount of comments we got last week, we're going to have three more pictures. Let's get it on!

Elton John: "Higher kicks, boys! Like this! HIGHER!"


Kentucky's cheerleaders are distraught that they are no longer allowed to wear their uniform's hoods.


Iverson: "Should we teach Yao how to clap?"
Nash: "No, just... just ignore it."


So yeah. Any of the pictures are up for grabs. Make with the funny!

Watch the Dunk Contest.

Or I'll rip your nuts off.

If you are anywhere near a TV and NOT watching the Dunk Contest, you are most assuredly gay. I hope you like the ballet, or whatever the fuck it is that you're watching.

Gerald Wallace is favored, which is weird, because the dunk contest doesn't involve committing turnovers. Nate Robinson is in the field. I really hope he doesn't do anything gimmicky. DeMar DeRozan gets to dunk after winning the dunk-in. My money's on Shannon Brown. Little man has some skies.

You either better be getting seriously funky, or watching the dunk contest.

F*ck off, we're busy

It's on now, motherfuckers.

So, we may have a new writer coming, who could possibly keep a D1 basketball player's views on life.

No fun bag today, y'all. We're busy. Busy partying. Normally we wait til the end of the day to party. Not today. Today we party now.

Caption Contest!

The second and third whitest Arizona players of all time. First being Chase Budinger.

or...

"We are two wild and crazy guys!"

or...

Luke: "Man, I'm glad to finally have a chance to rest after playing until the middle of june."
Richard: "What teams keep playing past April?"

Richard Jefferson and Luke Walton in the hizouse. Do 'em dirty.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

WOO! LONGHORNS! I WON THE SUPER BOWL!

Casey Hampton is fantastic.

YES! What is up, internet? Did you miss me? Did you? You know you did.

Anyways, it's been a pretty good week, considering there is no football to be had until after labor day. Things could definitely be worse. For instance, you could be stupider than Tommy Lasorda.


Most of you Hobbers down in Hobbsville probably aren't aware of this, but one of the most incredible competitions is going on right now. The Volvo Ocean Race. At the moment, the boats are recovering from a battering in Qingdao, before they start their marathon to the Mediterranean. Need more proof that it's awesome?


I don't know if any of y'all saw it last night, but Clemson gave Duke something to cry about. Seriously, even Coach K said that it was the worst basketball you can possibly play. The best part? Seeing Kyle Singler get yanked on.


And again, something weird from Europe. Wait until about 0:38 in, it starts off odd enough. But around 1:35 is when they truly begin to break it down.


So there you have it. Solid week all around. Anyways, it's been fun. I could use suggestions for things to include in this space, so remember to drop links to your favorite videos into our email, fbook, or comments sections.

One love.

Monday Morning Shit Storm

Inspired by this week's NFL live chat, and it's lively banter, I've decided on the shit storm for this week.


The Wire.



No specifics.
Anything and everything Wire related.

But I'll get the discussion started.

Defining moment.

Shirt storm, begin.