For Once I’d Like To Go To A Cardinals Game Where Someone Doesn’t Get Tasered

BRO! NOT AWESOMES!

This kid crashed the Cards at Phillies game last night in the eighth inning immediately before crashing into the ground violently. It’s MLB policy to not encourage other insanely-brilliant-cargo-short-wearing brolumni from doing the same thing by showing them on TV, but cuts to the Cardinals dug out showed everyone grinning from ear to ear and laughing very hard. I thought Joe Mather was going to poop out his ears he was laughing so hard. Ryan Howard had to cover his face on the field from laughing.

But the MLB can’t hold down the viral audience in attendance. 17-year-old Steve Consalvi has his fifteen minutes, will totally get to be Prom King, and if enough people remember it next year, he’ll totally be macking honeys with the rest of the Phi Delts at Penn State.



(As originally published on zackstovall.com. BOOYAH TO SELF-PROGMOLATION!)