Showing posts with label something something Tiger Woods something something. Show all posts
Showing posts with label something something Tiger Woods something something. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Ron Artest has written a letter to Tiger Woods.


Ron Artest has been vilified for almost a decade now. Most casual fans will only remember the Malice at the Palace. To those people, you all should just listen to what the man has to say. He keeps it real. Sometimes too real.

He has an opinion on Tiger Woods, and has decided to write an open letter to him. It is published in it's entirety below.

Dear Tiger,
In reading the statements you have made, I can tell you are a stand up guy. Please remember only Jesus is perfect. You made a mistake and you admitted your infidelity.
I have made the same mistakes. Before I got married to my wife, I had a baby with another young lady, after I already had two by my girlfriend who is now my wife. We also had another baby which makes three for us and four for me. Two boys and two girls.
My wife is a much better wife than I am a husband. We still argue and disagree after being together 16 years. and I still cope with the fact that there are so many women out there and I choose to stay loyal to my wife.
I want to be home every night, but with traveling I can't, and sometimes I might want to go to a bar or club and be one of the fellas. Most of the time I stay in, because I have my kids and wife.
I cannot sit here and say the thought to have many women has never crossed my mind. If I were Jesus I could.
I have known my wife for 16 years- since I was 14 years old.
She was my first.
On the way to 2010 we had many ups and downs on the way, mostly my fault. But I really choose to work hard and play ball to support her and my kids. The same reason you are building your legacy.
I have been disturbed by this because there are many people who are happy that this bad news has come out.
There are a lot of sports announcers and regular reporters who are not perfect in their own homes, yet they want to bring you down.
You have done so much for people, the sport of golf, and your family and you gave your wife a life that people can't even dream of.
I thought you were 36 or 37 until I read the news today. A 33-year-old man who has been a model citizen with so much at stake. This is your first publicly known issue since you started your career, compared to my 50 or more publicly known issues and mistakes.
You have been the perfect role model for me and my sons for longer than anyone I have known.
With the exception of a few legends.
As your fan, I can't wait to see you golf again.
And us athletes know how much you personally love your family.

One love,
Ron Artest
This is just a fan mail letter to Tiger Woods fans and indirectly to Tiger himself.
Please, everyone support Tiger in these tough times for his family.

Also if you are a sports announcer or regular everyday reporter or blogger please step up like Tiger and tell your wife or husband if you have any skeletons in your closet. Especially if you were one of the few attacking TIGER!!
One Love People


Ron Artest articulated my feelings on the matter better than I've been able to. Hopefully this is not the last time this happens.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Friday afternoon Fun Bag!!!


GD Christmas, quit stalling and come around already.

Ok gang, nobody likes work, I need a drink, and knots need to be tied. It's Funbag time.

Have you heard of this Tiger Woods thing? Me too. Anyway between Whitlock sitting in his ivory tower, Rick Reilly handing out advice, and Herm Edwards auditioning for the job of Tiger's life coach I'm getting a little tired of Tigergate. Anyway it's always nice to make viral videos making fun of others misfortunes. This site also has an interesting perspective.

EMBED-Leaked Tiger Woods Mistress Sex Tape - Watch more free videos
How many times do I have to say this. STOP MAKING FAN RAP VIDEOS. They never turn out well.

Jared Allen....That is all.


My name is Suh. How do you do? NOW YOU GONNA DIE!!!


I don't think we've even hinted at NCAABB this year, so I'll post this video as a tribute to our own Booker Pogue. Cue Icehouse: "OMG FUNK!!!"


It's almost championship time in Texas which means we need to relive John Tyler-Plano East

Ok everyone, have a good weekend.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

GRH Exclusive: Tiger Woods Banged Me/Sexted Me

This was found in the GRH Mailroom on our fax machine. We can only assume its veridity enough to publish it, having checked with other media sources who received the same message, and leave it to you, the discerning reader, to determine its genuine authenticity. Read on and thank you.

-The Ghost of Roy Hobbs


Ladies and Gentlemen of the far-reaching, vast and all-consuming media:

I'm sorry, but I have to come clean: Tiger Woods and I have been having an intimate affair for roughly three years. All of these were years in which he was married and I was aware of it. I'm so ashamed - and trust me, I consider it disgraceful to have sex with a married billionaire - but I cannot hide behind my convenient anonymity any longer.

We had us a lot of sex. He also talked dirty to me from his cell phone to mine.

I know. It's hard to believe. I wouldn't have believed it myself had I not been involved. Him being the most prestigious, well-recognized, and wealthiest professional athlete of all-time and...me. Me being a portly, balding, Caucasian male who makes less than $15K per year and will hold off going to the restroom to avoid climbing those taxing stairs. It all happened so fast. He waltzed into my place of business, a McDonald's in Portageville, Missouri, like he owned the place. Sparks flew, numbers were exchanged and a lot of sex was had in the middle. Now you know the rest of the story.

One time he told me to go to the bathroom and send him a picture of myself doing something sexy, which I did without hesitation and am willing to speak about it with even less hesitation. Woe is me and my shame.

The real irony comes into play around this weekend. I had been mustering up the courage and emotional fortitude to come out to the deserve-to-know public for about a month. Really, about a month. Give or take. I just couldn't believe it when I heard that Tiger (or as I called him "Tigre") got into a violent car accident by backing into a fire hydrant on his property. It looks like he beat me to the punch. He was obviously clearing the air and confessing his love for me, again, the Costanza with the fast-food vocation and lateral lisp, which I'm certain was much to the dismay of his 5'10", perfectly bossomed, beautiful, smiling Swedish model/wife, Elin. All of those things are proven to be crystal clear by the simple, somewhat benign act of dinging up not just any car, but an Escalade.

We're like a modern day Romeo and Juliet, lovers forbidden and shamed from the public arena where we belong. Just like Twilight. Only nothing rated PG-13. Definitely Rated-R bangage.

And just because accredited news sources such as E! News, TMZ.com, CornholeBangers.net and Golf Weekly keep asking me, this isn't about money or fame. This is about truth. And the truth is that Tigre and I were together before he became history's first billion dollar athlete. This started three years ago, before all that billion dollar business and he was just Tiger, the humble, affable, multi-($998)millionaire who stole my heart and me, a person who's only brush with fame was when I made the front page of the Portageville Post for eating 11 live frogs and only bush with opulence was when I won a free apple pie from the Monopoly game at my office.

Opposites must attract, because he carved me like a jack-o-lantern. He also sent me a text with a photo of his can-of-biscuits-sized dingdong.

It'd be silly to say that I'm just one of several who happen to be coming forward. The difference is the truth. I can only speak for myself, and not for those other clearly impoverished and schizophrenic trailer dwellers who claim to have been sexed and sexted by my Tiger. I'm not sure about compensation, it'd be so awful to talk about money at a time when he is so clearly on the verge of breaking down - you know, due to all the clandestine intercourse we've been engaging in behind the globe's back - it just seems wrong. But when that time comes, I'm sure Tiger and I can work out something simple, something that can give me some piece of mind. And by "piece of mind" I mean, a blank check that will grant me the prestige, honor and respect befitting someone with millions and millions of dollars of disposable income.

I'm sorry it all had to come out like this. It seems sordid, but really, it's about love. And not about this being my only shot at making something somewhat meaningful out of what has become the underloved, oversexed, vomit-filled, meth-singed, cross-eyed, rusty abortion that is my day-to-day existence. Not at all.

Tigre, if you read this call me.

Do' Tompkins