Some people just can't let go.

Scene opens. Icehouse is flexing in front of the mirror in his underwear, tumbler full of scotch in hand.

[Click play for soundtrack]


[Phone rings]
Icehouse: What the fuck is up?!

Lindsey Vonn:

Icehouse, I've been thinking about... us.

Icehouse: Oh yeah? Well, we had a good run, but it's better this way. I hear you're doing great, and that you're all healthy coming into the season, so.... you know... good luck and all that.

Lindsey Vonn: Icehouse, wait a second--

Icehouse: No time, baby, I gotta--

Lindsey Vonn: Icehouse, I'm pregnant.

Icehouse: You're WHAT?!

Lindsey Vonn: Well, I'm not, I just wanted you to pay attention to me. I do have something for you, though.

Icehouse: Okaaaaay. It's not going to be anything crazy, is it?

Lindsey Vonn: No, it's... sexy.

Icehouse: Hm. Continue.

Lindsey Vonn: Well, I know how much you love National Lampoon movies, as well as spoofs of police movies, so I--

Icehouse: Dressed up as Kathy Ireland spoofing Sharon Stone in Loaded Weapon 1?

Lindsey Vonn: Oh, um... well, yeah.

How did you guess that?

Icehouse: Instinct, baby. Instinct.

Lindsey Vonn: Well, do you want to come reenact the butt-in-the-moonlight scene?

Icehouse: I'd like to, but I got a prior commitment.

Lindsey Vonn: Well can we at least exchange dirty text messages? It's all the rage these days among athletes.

Icehouse: Ehhh, you can if you want, but remember, I drink a lot and have a blog.

Lindsey Vonn: Oh, how I wish things could work out between u--

Icehouse: Well, I wish I could stay and chat, but it happens to be underwear dance party night here at the Icehousehold. Take it sleazy.

[Hangs up]

Ready baby?



Icehouse: Righteous.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

Woo.

WOOOOOO.

It's the last days of summer, and HOLY SHIT IS IT NICE OUTSIDE. Go get one last sunburn, everybody. You've earned it.

Also don't forget to set your fantasy teams.

ANNNNyway. Let's get to the fun.

Last week when I was bummed for being at work on a beautiful afternoon, Lattimer cheered me up with this. OMG! 50 FUNKS!


If you've been hit by the recession, try working for the New York Mets.


This girl wrecks at flag football.


This just in, eating a live monkey's brain makes you smarter.


Dude, you have no Koran. Dance mix.


YES! OK, let's get this party started. It's going to be the bomb. It's going down like a blimp.

Look, you gots to stop calling

[Phone rings]

Hello? Oh hey, I've been meaning to get in touch with you. No, not that kind of 'touch' again.

Look Alana Blanchard, you gotta stop calling me. I don't care that you are "the hottest surfer in the world" according to Trans World Surf magazine.

Yeah, yeah. I know you have the best bottom turns in the business, but I've gotta life here with Julia, and you can't come between us. I've gotta concentrate on what I do, and you need to concentrate on what you do.

Exactly. You're one of the best young surfers in the world. You have your entire career ahead of you. You can't be falling for a guy like me. I mean, you just turned 20. Julia and I are already in our mid-to-late twenties. We're at that stage in our lives. You have entirely too much ahead of you to be... oh come-- come on, I didn't say that. OF COURSE I think you're mature! Don't go barreling out of control.

Look, we had a fun little fling, but it's not worth destroying what I've built with Julia Mancuso. Trust me, if we had met back before... well back before Lindsey Vonn, then we definitely would have been able to shoot the curl together many more times than just that one weekend.

Alana, there you ho again. You don't need to remove clothing for people to respect you. You're going to be a world champ regard... Alana. Alana, calm down. YES I find you beautiful, are you kidding? Yes, I want nothing more than to tear it up again, but life is more... will you let me finish? Life is about more than that! Listen, I'm going to hang up now. Yes. Yeah... Ok, bye bye now.

[Hangs up]

Yikes. That was rough.

[Phone rings]

[Icehouse answers]


Abbey Clancy: Icehouse, Robocrouch has been cheating on me with girls of the night! I need you. I need you like that one night...

Icehouse: Aw. shit.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

Football, you are close. So. Very. Close.

By the way, doing an image search for "USC Cheerleaders" is a pretty awesome way to waste a LOT of time. What day is it? Friday? Awesome. It's fun bag time.

First of all, prepare to have your minds blown, mortals.

Dancing Pigeons - Ritalin from Blink on Vimeo.

Keeping with the music video theme, here's the most rock and roll kid in the universe.


I dance in the streets all the time and manage not to get hit by an ice cream truck. Furthermore, those things make all sorts of silly ass songs. How can you NOT notice them coming?


This policeman better beware. Technoviking might just show up to fuck his law and order up.


Wow, Georgia. Wow.


And finally, Rave Dog.

As an aside, I found someone posting Rave Dog on their site, under the pretext that he is excited that Cesc Fabregas will be staying with Arsenal for the time being (suck shit, Barca!). Not only am I in favor of that, but their site is also hilariously named "Who Ate All The Pies?"

That's it. Let's get out of here. Anyone else want to go sailing?

Your vacation is... how do you say? Unsexy.

Yes, yes. We have heard all about this "Spring Break" of yours. Yes, we have heard of the girls and when they go wild. But we, over here in the Mediterranean, in Croatia and Greece and Ibiza, we think that this is no sexy.

Where is your spot to go? This Gulf of Mexico? You think that it is sexy to go to the Panama City or the southern Padre Island. My friend, it is no sexy. The beer bongs, the confederate flags, and the Journey played in your pick-em-up trucks, they are no sexy. This, my friend, the yacht week. This is sexy.

Observe the sexiness. You see our blue waters, they are superior to your Gulf. Our places to party, they are better than your bars. You will see that there is no karaoke here. Karaoke is the unsexiest of the unsexy. I see a woman caterwaul and I no longer want to make the love with her. And believe me, mi amigo, I ALWAYS want to make the love. Observe my silky-smoothness. Supple, yes?

So I would like you to think of us, mon amis, when you think that you are having a sexy time in your spring break or your summer, you should think of us, and remember that you are no sexy like us.

Baby, we need to talk...

Lindsey, hey, how are you? Doing ok? Do you need anything? You sure? Ok. You're looking great. It's really great to see you.

Anyway baby, go ahead and take a seat.

Listen, you're a dream. I really do love you. But I just... I just think that what we've had between us has run its course. What? No! Don't be silly. Of course it had nothing to do with that. Baby, if it was... Lindsey, calm down. How could it be about you crashing yesterday, after I've seen you crash dozens of times before?

It's not that, it's just that there's been too much drama. This whole thing, it's taken our lives and turned them upside down. I can't handle the photo shoots, the autograph sessions, the interviews and speculation about your shin, the international travel... actually, scratch that, I like the international travel. But you've become more than just a skier. Do you think I like having some guy ask you to sign your autograph across your cleavage in the swimsuit issue? Do you think I'm comfortable with that? But that wasn't the worst. The worst was when you admitted to me that you don't even go skiing for fun. You've changed, Lindsey. Now it's a business to you, and that breaks my heart.

Like I said, I'll always love you. I will. I just think it's best that we part ways. And...
[sigh]
Yes, there's someone else. How did we-? I met her while you were beefing with Austrians in interviews! While you were getting therapy on your shin! While you were taking pictures in your skivvies! Her name's Julia.

Mancuso, right. How did you guess that? What? You guys know each other?

Oh, right. Well, then you should know. She's more fun. She doesn't take it, or herself, as seriously as you. She still likes skiing for fun, she even went out in the powder that Whistler had a couple of days ago. You work out in the summer, while she goes surfing. She's the one that's going to make me happy, not you.

You'll be fine. I'm sure you'll find someone great. I just hope you find happiness. You're too stern, baby, and that's not what I need in my life. I want to have fun, and you're not giving me that. Now if you'll excuse me, a hot tub is calling my name.

WOOO! Grab Julia's hoots, Chemmy!

Awesome.

Friday afternoon Fun Bag!!!

GD Christmas, quit stalling and come around already.

Ok gang, nobody likes work, I need a drink, and knots need to be tied. It's Funbag time.

Have you heard of this Tiger Woods thing? Me too. Anyway between Whitlock sitting in his ivory tower, Rick Reilly handing out advice, and Herm Edwards auditioning for the job of Tiger's life coach I'm getting a little tired of Tigergate. Anyway it's always nice to make viral videos making fun of others misfortunes. This site also has an interesting perspective.

EMBED-Leaked Tiger Woods Mistress Sex Tape - Watch more free videos
How many times do I have to say this. STOP MAKING FAN RAP VIDEOS. They never turn out well.

Jared Allen....That is all.


My name is Suh. How do you do? NOW YOU GONNA DIE!!!


I don't think we've even hinted at NCAABB this year, so I'll post this video as a tribute to our own Booker Pogue. Cue Icehouse: "OMG FUNK!!!"


It's almost championship time in Texas which means we need to relive John Tyler-Plano East

Ok everyone, have a good weekend.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

For as much as I hate Drew Gooden (except for his brief stint in San Antonio), he gets a lot of love on GRH. I should change my opinion on him, since he's a goofball, but fuck it. Hatehatehate.

Oh yeah. It's on, now. YOYOYO FRIDAAYYYY.

So to get things started off on the right foot, here's the best 25 dunks from the 2008-2009 NBA season.

You can catch the entire top 100 here.

Andrew W.K. is a GRH favorite. Not only because of his staunch party advocacy, but because we especially like celebrity weather reports.


Here's something bizarre from Europe.

Tyson Chandler is no longer on the Hornets. Actually, now he's on our team. We're glad to have him on board.


Young Kobe Bryant + youngER Amanda Bynes. Lots of Screaming.


Our love of Ron Artest is pretty blatant. This is him recounting what happened at the "Malice at the Palace." Not crazy enough yet? Fine. He's doing it in China.


To continue the sexiness that Zack started below, here's Fanny Lu.


Yes. I'm jacked now. Let's kick some ass.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

I really hope that Barkley didn't run the stop sign for Bavetta.

WOO! Friday in tha muhfuckin' hizouse. It's cloudy here. Wack. Who cares? We're going to have fun this weekend!

And as you can see above, we at GRH are in the Valentine's Day spirit also. All I know, is when Saturday night rolls around, if the girls aren't sitting at home wondering why Johnny Closetgay hasn't called them, they're going to be out, and they're going to be on the prowl. AMIRIGHT?!?!

So anyways. Kevin Garnett used to be my favorite player. While he's on a team now that I can hardly bring myself to support (Boston fans are the worst of the worst), I still love him. Here's why.


I used to have a pretty exciting life. Now I sit in an office. But anyways, some people out there still kick ass, to the point that if I show up to work with a wingsuit on, you better believe I'm jumping out of a window around lunch.


The Boondocks is a great show. Not just because of their sick original rap songs, but because it is a finger on the pulse of America. America's pulse, at times, involves dunking on Yao Ming.


This music video won't let me embed it on our site. Cowards. But seriously, I can't really set this video up, you just kind of have to watch it. Unless your sensibilities get offended easily. Or maybe even then, what the hell do I care. I'm not sure if this is NSFW. I really don't know what to say about it.

Commenter Brian is a GRH favorite. We all know this. Time to give a little love back and feature him, getting steezy.


Ok, lots of fun today. Can't wait for tonight. Can't wait for tomorrow, either, lots of soccer on. Let's go. Fuck yes.