Ricky: Hey Rasheed. Sheed!
Rasheed: Sup.
Ricky: Wasn't there something we were supposed to do today?
Rasheed: I don't know, man. Like what?
Ricky: Like something we do every day, but for some reason it's more important today?
Rasheed: Shit I don't know. Thinking's hard. Fuck it, I'm getting into a hot tub.
Ricky: Dammit. This is hard. Hey Mark. MARK!
Mark Stepnoski: Grunh?
Ricky: Maybe you can help me out. I feel like there was something I was supposed to do today, but my memory is suffering from short-term loss.
Stepnoski: Mughufungh Rupufungunuh.
Ricky: K thanks man. [under his breath] What a weirdo.
Stepnoski: [enraged] GREH HERRR DLAAA!
Ricky: SHIT! NATE! NATE YOU GOTTA HELP!
Nate Newton: [through labored breathing] Suuuuuunnnnn Chiiiiiiips. You make my daaaaayyyyaayyyyyyyy.
Ricky: Well, that wasn't helpful. Randy. Hey Randy!
Randy Moss: AY MANG! HOWDABOUTA TOKA MANG JUNOWHATISAYING?!
Ricky: Eesh. Whatever the fuck that meant. Maybe Kareem knows. [calls Kareem Abdul-Jabbar]
Kareem: [giggling] Hello? Hey. Hey shh, quit it. [composed] Sorry Ricky, I'd like to help you, but myself and Former President Bush are at an important meeting with the joint chiefs. [laughter erupts on the phone]
George W. Bush: [in the background] Yeah, we're meeting on the moon, bitch!
Ricky: Jeez, some people have no phone etiquette.
Tim Lincecum: I've got an idea, we could call Michael Phelps!
Ricky: God no. ANYTHING but that. Fuck it, this is hard. I'm just gonna go get high.
Happy 4/20 everybody! There's myriad athletes I left out. Throw your favorite stoner athlete in the comments section.
Posts
Matt Jones.
ReplyDeleteWas he ever caught with weed? I have no doubts that he has smoked the proverbial herb, but I think only cocaine is what has been documented.
ReplyDeleteJosh Howard
ReplyDeleteBode Miller
Chris Webber
Isaiah Rider
Bob Burnquist (not sure if skaters count)
Edgar Davids (actually happens to have glaucoma but is also Dutch so...)
Tug McGraw--pitcher, father of Tim
Asked if he preferred grass over Astroturf, McGraw replied: "I don't know -- I never smoked Astroturf."
Mike and Marcus Vick
ReplyDeleteBill Walton
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89TNgbs38ds
How anyone saw this video and thought he would be a good commentator is beyond me.
Also the Tennessee basketball team because I hate Bruce Pearl.
Oh yeah, it was definitely inferred gonja-usage for Matt Jones. The Booger Sugar was his downfall, but we all know that this marijuana, or "weed" as the kids call it, is a "Gateway" Drug.
ReplyDeletePS - Allen Houston sighting! FTW!
ReplyDeleteBill Walton is an intergalactic hero the likes of which the world will never see again.
ReplyDelete