Ricky: Hey Rasheed. Sheed!
Rasheed: Sup.
Ricky: Wasn't there something we were supposed to do today?
Rasheed: I don't know, man. Like what?
Ricky: Like something we do every day, but for some reason it's more important today?
Rasheed: Shit I don't know. Thinking's hard. Fuck it, I'm getting into a hot tub.
Ricky: Dammit. This is hard. Hey Mark. MARK!
Mark Stepnoski: Grunh?
Ricky: Maybe you can help me out. I feel like there was something I was supposed to do today, but my memory is suffering from short-term loss.
Stepnoski: Mughufungh Rupufungunuh.
Ricky: K thanks man. [under his breath] What a weirdo.
Stepnoski: [enraged] GREH HERRR DLAAA!
Ricky: SHIT! NATE! NATE YOU GOTTA HELP!
Nate Newton: [through labored breathing] Suuuuuunnnnn Chiiiiiiips. You make my daaaaayyyyaayyyyyyyy.
Ricky: Well, that wasn't helpful. Randy. Hey Randy!
Randy Moss: AY MANG! HOWDABOUTA TOKA MANG JUNOWHATISAYING?!
Ricky: Eesh. Whatever the fuck that meant. Maybe Kareem knows. [calls Kareem Abdul-Jabbar]
Kareem: [giggling] Hello? Hey. Hey shh, quit it. [composed] Sorry Ricky, I'd like to help you, but myself and Former President Bush are at an important meeting with the joint chiefs. [laughter erupts on the phone]
George W. Bush: [in the background] Yeah, we're meeting on the moon, bitch!
Ricky: Jeez, some people have no phone etiquette.
Tim Lincecum: I've got an idea, we could call Michael Phelps!
Ricky: God no. ANYTHING but that. Fuck it, this is hard. I'm just gonna go get high.
Happy 4/20 everybody! There's myriad athletes I left out. Throw your favorite stoner athlete in the comments section.
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