Progressive Anti-Bully Gym Instructor Found in Locker, Gagged with Jock Strap

ERIE, Penn. — Coach Cal Roberts, 25, of Columbia Junior High in Erie, Pennsylvania, was found Tuesday afternoon stuffed into a locker in the men's dressing room, bound with athletic tape and gagged with a jock strap, and obviously disheveled.

Roberts, who is known for having a laid back, hands off, non-violent approach to coaching Jr. High students, said that after the class completed their yoga instructions, four to five of the bigger boys in the class cornered him in the gym, while the rest cheered.

"I mean these are good kids," said Roberts, as he held his head back to nurse a nosebleed. "I'm not going to subject them to bully-games like dodge ball, flag football, badminton, or track and field."

"That's just not good for these kids."

The jock was labeled as belonging to Sam Michaelson, a 5'8", 200lbs. seventh grader at Columbia. Michaelson claims Roberts had it coming.

"Guy had it coming," said Michaelson.

An investigation by school administrators is pending the results of a class survey as to whether or not Roberts, indeed, had it coming. Early polling numbers are showing that most agree he did, while one voter, Anaximander Goldberg, the local chess prodigy, firmly believed otherwise.

CFB pre...check that, review

I'm sorry.

I've been in both a literal and figurative hangover since last Saturday.




It seems as though the Virginia Tech offensive machine SOMEHOW stuttered with robo-qb at the helm.

For those who don't know how the Tech machine works, let me give you some insight.

Run the ball
Run Works
(Abandon run)
Pass the ball
Lock on to single receiver... Enemy defender in sight... Error, Error, Errrrrrrrr...

(Lose Game)

Insert mobile quarterback
Mobility masks offensive play calling deficiency.
Defense and special teams save ass in minimum 5 games
Win 8-10 games.
(Repeat Process)

Sean Glennon.... it's been real, it's been fun, but it aint been real fun.- Smokey

Due to my hangover it seems kinda pointless at this point to do a #1 Georgia preview

But I will give you an obligatory youtube video.



Georgia is one of those teams I kinda liked...until I met Georgia fans.

I will say this, if Georgia happens to make it through that meat grinder of a schedule undefeated, I for one will acknowledge their accomplishment. (This will last five seconds)

But that won't happen, so we don't have to worry about it.

I'll leave you with this...My BOLD NC prediction. I'm great at picking individual games, but I have never predicted a NC game in the beginning of the year. So this means absolutely nothing.

Florida vs. Oklahoma ...maybe USC,

I don't know.