OK Tim, nice and easy

OK, Tim, nice and easy. Just need to get it over the plate. There's nobody on, and this guy's a cake eater.

Nice little breaking ball in will do the trick. It'll get him to ground out, or maybe even golf one straight up. Gosh I love seeing these guys do their thing in the infield. So crisp and perfect, it really reminds me of why I love to play the game. I'd strike out fewer people, and throw more pitches that resulted in grounders, but you know. I like to show off a little also.

Except with this pitch. This pitch is going to be banal. I can't throw every pitch like it's my last, I got a career to think about. This one's going to be nice and easy, break in, and hopefully get him chasing something that ends up in the dirt. Nothing fancy or remarkable about this one, no sir. Not gonna be pretty. Speaking of pretty, I need to pick up some new conditioner. But after the game.

/takes bong hit

HERE IT COMES MOTHERFUCKER!

.gif below via SB Nation, since MLB is lame and definitely going to pull that video in the next ten minutes.