So you don't like soccer, huh?

Good. I'm glad. I'm glad that you perpetuate the myth that Americans are introverted. Shit, only twenty percent of us have passports. Fuck the rest of the world, right? You can get all the culture you need in Goodland, Kansas.

I'm glad you were watching American Idol. I'm glad you think that Nascar is cool.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I know you're alright. I know you guys are cool. Heck, the game versus Algeria was the most watched soccer game in ESPN history. Pretty awesome.

We're getting there, everybody. Soccer is finally becoming mainstream. The MLS will perpetually be awful, but what the hell. Our guys are doing pretty well in the big leagues, and the world no longer looks forward to playing us.

AMERICEY IS WATCHING!... ANYBODY NOT WANNA GO?!

Video at the top via White Yao.