Bowl Wrap Up: Miami QB Jacory Harris the Most Adorable Thing On The Field Last Night

ORLANDO - The Champs Sports Bowl lived up to its tremendous amount of pregame hype, with Miami QB Jacory Harris being the most adorable thing to step on the field last night in a losing effort to the Wisconsin Badgers, 20-to-the-cutest-14-points-you-ever-did-see.

Wisconsin QB Scott Tolzien passed for a pedestrian 260 yards, with 19 so-so completions over 26 unflattering attempts. The pasty Tolzien also threw an interception, which totally figures, and didn't even have the courtesy to throw a touchdown pass.

Meanwhile, Harris was able to pass for an incredibly attractive 188 yards, with 16 glowing completions that looked like they fell out of a J. Crew catalogue. Badger RB John Clay was really trying way too hard, winning Big Ten Player of the Year, rushed for 121 yards and scored two touchdowns in an effort that looked more desperate than anything.

"He really did a lot for us, we just couldn't get the win," said Miami coach Randy Shannon. "But that fro-hawk of his is something precious. It was both heartbreaking and breathtaking to see him come off the field after a three-and-out. Like watching a beautiful quetzal bird sing a sad, sad song."

Analysts at the game are already calling Harris' comeback-ending four-and-out to be 'the hottest failed comeback in the history of omigah I can't even remember.'

Broncos QB Simms Recognized Outside of Team Activity

DENVER, Co. - While at a Denny's on Monday afternoon, Broncos reserve quarterback Chris Simms was recognized by another patron of the restuarant without Simms having to explain his role on the team, or his college and professional history.

"He was like 'You're Chris Simms, right?' and I was like 'Sure am,'" Simms told reporters. "He wasn't my waiter; he couldn't have seen my ID or debit card or anything. He just knew who I was.

"Pretty awesome if you ask me, which he did, by the way."

The recognizer, Bill Daniels, 41, stated that he recognized the quarterback, but couldn't figure out why.

"I think it was because of his dad?," said Daniels. "I lived in Austin for awhile, but that was when Major Applewhite was there. Speaking of, you know he's a coach now, right? I bet he's great."

Police records obtained by GRH later verified that Daniels had gotten into a fender bender with the erstwhile journeyman Simms in August.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag

It's Redick Brah

Well Icehouse is out playing Pirates of the Caribbean and Stovall is still settling in to his new role as political rock star.

That leaves me, lowly Lattimer, to deliver what we all want and crave.

The Funbag.

Let's kick it.

The NBA is where amazing happens, and nothing is more amazing than Kenyon beefing with Cuban. Advantage: Kenyon.


Did you ever dream of seeing a football game pitting mascots against 10 year olds? Well today is your lucky day.


Haha Blount, Blunt. Get it.


If you didn't realize that Cleveland has issues you will now.


ahhhhh IT'S A TIE!!!


A little something in honor of Icehouse.


And finally a little something for Brian.