Retired QB Trent Green Walks Away From Fiery, 32 Vehicle Pile-Up Unscathed

KIRKWOOD, Missouri -- Recently retired quarterback Trent Green, whose career was nearly ended twice due to stomach-turning concussions before another finally ended it in Miami, survived a fiery and violent 32-car pile up on I-55 Wednesday, after his motorcycle rear-ended a lumber trailer causing it to spin out of control, taking a number of surrounding and following cars down with it.

The oft-injured Green, who was not wearing a helmet at the time, walked away from the incident nearly unscathed, favoring only his left pinky fingernail.

"I think I skinned it a bit," said Green, squinting at the digit. "I dunno, I can't tell. What do you think?"

The crash killed as many as 56 people, and coroners are still sifting through the liquefied, charred, and scattered remains in the somewhat hopeless attempt to discern one body from another.

"Guess it's my lucky day," Green shrugged. "Then again, I've always been known as a pretty tough guy."

In other news, shortly after walking away from I-55, Green was found dead on the floor a local Schnuck's, after having been slipped up by banana peel in the produce section.

Monday Morning S--T Storm

Starting on a more serious note.

last night I stumbled across a website (tastefully) entitled Pimp This Bum!

URL's aside, the site posts videos of homeless individuals in Houston and asks for donations. Maybe I just have a soft spot in my heart, but it's worth a look.

Now, in some weird way this is actually related to the Shit Storm I had planned.

Currently the national unemployment level is around 8.1%.

People are hurting, and I recently read several articles suggesting that even professional sports may need to cut back.

So in the unlikely event that this does happen, what in the hell will pro athletes do for a living?

And that my fellow Hobbers, is the Shit Storm.

Lets match some pro athletes with some steady jobs.

My first selection, just so we can get it out of the way.


Mike Vick, host of the new Animal Planet show called "Whats up Dog" where Mike travels around the country interviewing celebrities and their pets.

OK that was weak, another example.


RAY LEWIS: preacher/CutCo rep.

Alright Hobbersonians let your dirty minds run wild.