Russell Westbrook's perfect jump shot.

Coach K: Ok, Russell. Remember what we worked on in practice. The most important thing is balance. You need to square your hips and shoulders to the basket, and jump straight up and down. When shooting, bring the ball in front of your forehead. Most importantly, keep your elbow in. Otherwise, you will have no control as to the direction the ball will go once you release. Make sure your left hand is there to aid the ball on the way up, so you don't lose control of it.


Russell Westbrook: HEY-ELL YEAH, COACH!

Coach K: Sure. Close enough.


Fin

The Orlando Magic: Where Dreams Come True

I would really like to thank the Orlando Magic for making all of my basketball dreams of what was possible in 1999 come true. The Spurs were fresh off of a championship, so now drunk off of glory and cough syrup, I was truly able to appreciate the game for what it was.

However, 1999 was the start of something incredible. The sophomore seasons of Vince Carter and Jason Williams completely redefined what was possible on a basketball court. Rifled 60-ft passes for alley-oops? Sure. In-game windmill dunks in traffic? Fine. Buzzer beating threes? By the shitload.

This train of mixtape wackiness and fanciful flavor gallivanted across the nation on a nightly basis. Some people will only remember the beginning of the Kobe-Shaq dynasty, and the continuation of the Spurs and therefore Western Conference hegemony. Not I. 1999-2000 will always mean Houston rappers, a West Virginian in Sacramento, and a Floridian in Canada to me.

Hundreds of thousands of NBA Live 99 teams had to have been manufactured to include these two players. Ten years later, the dream has been fulfilled. Ten years later. After ten years in athletics, it's going to be different. These two players are in fact shells of what they once were. Empty craters of potential that blew up in our faces. Settling for jump shots and textbook chestpasses weren't part of this fucking dream. So I leave you with videos remembering the good times. Just as a reminder that at the turn of the century, nobody did it iller than these two.





Nobody had cell phones, the Internet was slow as hell, but the roundball was dope.

The Science of Selling Yourself Short.

They say that madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Duke basketball has consistently recruited the most over-hyped Caucasians in the world that "play basketball the right way" (read: do whatever the hell the coach says). They're fundamentally sound, athletically acceptable, but nowhere near what they should be. The amateur basketball landscape has changed drastically in recent years, with more and more teams shelling out for one-and-done stars and surrounding them with phenomenal athletes.

How has Duke faired in this climate? In a word, poorly, and that's being polite. Several disappointing finishes in the tournament have created an air that the days of Cameron hegemony have passed. Some people lament this. Not me. I personally like athletic basketball, and hate seeing people like J.J. Reddick succeed at anything.

So here we are, at a crossroads of sorts. One would assume that the most celebrated coach in the current hoops world (and rightly so) would be able to read the changing climate and adapt accordingly.

Enter Ryan "Pooptooth" Kelly. What a shitbag this guy is, huh? He's the most heralded recruit that Duke has coming in this year, and man is he a snoozer. He's like a less athletic Josh McRoberts. He's fundamentally sound, I guess, but he is nowhere near an elite player. Fuck him. We're talking about one of the most storied programs in all of hoops, and this is who they're proud of? It is baffling. It's downright absurd. Why don't they go after some stud that can jump out of the gym but can't shoot? Why not go after a player with an entourage and tattoos? I get that K is a system coach, but he had to have learned during the Olympics that sometimes you have to go against your better instincts and bring in some folks with a little bit of street in them. A loose cannon here and there. Trust me, you'll be able to make them learn whatever you want them to.

How does K not remember the way Tyrus Thomas made Reddick look retarded? His big recruit a couple years ago, Paulus, is now going to play football for Syracuse! SHIT! What the fuck is wrong with these assholes? Have some goddamn respect for yourselves!