Dallas Will Harsh Your Buzz

Click to play. It's pertinent.

A lot of people think that Dallas is a lame-ass place filled with people who drive around in their pickup trucks, drinking their domestic beers and listening to talk radio. They also think that we have no concept of the outside world and willingfully ignore the cultures and customs of anywhere outside of the metroplex.

Basically, people like Bunny from Platoon, except without any of the fun.
"Ain't nothin' like a piece of pussy. 'Cept maybe the Indy 500."

As a resident of Dallas, I'm here to say that you are - several nice people excepted - correct. Take it away, Newy Scruggs and the NBCDFW team.

I love that someone asks if it's legal there. Clearly, they don't report on national news.

And to make matters worse, he identifies the perpetrators and let's you know that if you do second-hand smoke marijuana, you will become extremely jumpy. He's like a one-man Reefer Madness.


To the good people of San Francisco, I'm here to tell you that if you do come to Texas for the games in Arlington, do not, repeat, do not bring your sticky icky. And as a Rangers fan, please leave any potheads at home as well.

Graham Watanabe fantasizes about unicorn porn.

Graham Watanabe (in the red jersey, kicking ass) is an elder statesman in the land of snowboard cross. At almost 28, he's far older than his main competition, fans, or even some coaches. In spite of not being, well... successful (31st in the Turin games, best finish in FIS competition is 6th), he's one of the bigger names, and a leader on the team.

But the Sun Valley native can still freak your ass out. It sounds like he gets weird with himself on a daily basis. He described his second Olympic appearance as, "Pegasus mating with a unicorn and the creature that they birth I somehow tame it and ride it to the sky and clouds and sunshine and rainbows."

Shyeah, brah!

If Bode Miller or Speedy Peterson said something like this, there would be media uproar about them being on something. Poppycock. If America learns one thing from Michael Phelps, it should be that recreational drugs make our Olympic athletes better. So keep kicking ass, Graham. We'll be watching this upcoming week. Hopefully in a similar state of mind as you.