Monday Morning Shit Storm

Over the weekend, several of the GRH Faithful convened in Alton, Illinois for mild debauchery and much rain dancing. While there, we adopted two young men who were canoeing down the length of the Mighty Mississippi River. Naturally, their tales of adventure was well received by we men of fortune. Going out on the river, living off the land and kindness of strangers and being men under the sun intrigued us greatly.

Then we drank a bunch of jello shots with them and they turned out to be chill guys.

You can follow their exploits here, but this leads the Hobbertariat to a greater query, aptly in time for the MMSS: Of any manly bucket list feat of masculine prowess one could reasonable accomplish, what would you do and why?

For example, Icehouse once rode a bicycle from Houston to Austin for charity. Hear hear, mighty Icehouse! However, if you've already done some great feat of note, understand it must come with a suggestion for something you'd like to do to. We require this as a toll for your braggardness, though we would enjoy hearing the tale.

I want to backpack through Europe. Literally, one backpack with my necessities, phone and credit card only for life-threatening emergencies, a set amount of cash (with an understanding that I may have to work or barter some of my belongings for more currency later), and the boots on my feet. I got a taste of it in high school, traveling from Paris to Rome, through Nice and Florence, but it was well-organized, comfortable, and I was in high school and was therefore retarded. I want to see it as a man.

Hobbers: Manly voyage, undertaking, or whatever. Commence.

Don't you go Changing on me Alabama

This week in fansanity. Someone poisoned the trees on Toomer's Corner at Auburn University. Those Cal Hippies protecting the trees aren't to crazy anymore, eh Auburn?

Here's my favorite part.

The university learned that a caller to The Paul Finebaum Show, a nationally syndicated radio show based in Birmingham, on Jan. 27, claimed he had applied the herbicide. As a precaution, soil samples were taken the next day and sent to the Alabama State Pesticide Residue Laboratory on campus for analysis. Due to a small fire that occurred in the Alabama lab in December, the tests were sent to the lab at Mississippi State University in Starkville, Miss., to expedite results

PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWL This is Al from Dadeville,I poisoned the trees PAWWWWWWWWWWWL. Roll Damn Tide!!!

And is it any shock that the Alabama State Pesticide Residue Laboratory had a small fire? Of course not.

Go ahead and listen to the audio here, you wont regret the two minutes you take out of your life.

On a practical arbor terrorist level, why exactly would you call in to warn of the poisoning?Wouldn't it be more shocking if the trees just started dying? SEC fans would have a field day creating metaphors about the death of the trees and the impending death of the Auburn program due to NCAA violations.

On a human decency level, WHAT THE HELL? This is crazy even for Alabama. In times like these, we look to CFB/SEC flavor expert, Spencer Hall, to make sense of the situation. I guess, at the end of the day it's still entertaining in a sick twisted Alabama way.

So don't you go changing on me Alabama.

(Also, if you think Bear Bryan't's statue isn't being guarded 24/7 by UA ROTC you're kidding yourself.)

UPDATE


Picture of the man, arrested for the poisoning. Icehouse sent him a friend request. As suspected, he did not attend college.