I love Thanksgiving. Specifically, I like hearing about how everyone spends their holiday's. I think the best one I've ever heard is from one of my friends in high school. He said every holiday basically consisted of going to church, watching his entire family get plastered by noon, watching his entire family get into a fight, and finally leaving by 2:00 pm.
So for the storm: present the best Thanksgiving itinerary, or for our lazy readers simply post your favorite Thanksgiving food/ highlights of the holiday.
If nothing else, we can debate white vs. dark meat.
Tuesday/Wednesday- Sit in tree and attempt to kill innocent animals.
Thursday
5:30 am-(I'm a human alarm clock) Arise, stare at TV and computer for two hours. (May play Civilization with younger cousin)
8:30 am- Inject turkey with flavor heroin.
8:45 am- Prepare for Thanksgiving feast by eating a spoonful of cottage cheese for breakfast.
9:00 am- Greet relatives.
9:07 am- Think of various excuses.
9:10 am- When asked for help in kitchen, claim that you have a "project" you are working on.
9:11 am- Work on project called "Thanksgiving TV: Social Implications on a Society."
10:25 am- Younger cousins steal remote control.
10:26 am- Bet younger cousins that they can't eat 5 crackers in a minute. Explain that if they win they receive the TV for the entire day.
10:27 am- Turn on NFL pregame show.
11:00 am- When asked for help in the kitchen explain: "Hold on I'll be there in a minute."
Noon- Cousin asks if you want a drink: Accept offer.
12:15 pm- Submerge flavor injected turkey into a hot vat of oil.
12:16 pm- Stare into vat.
12:30 pm- Watch Football, and enter kitchen only to pick at various dishes.
3:00 pm- When asked to help set the table reply: "I don't know how to set a table."
3:01 pm-When younger cousins set the table, explain to them that the knife blade should face inside.
3:15 pm- When mom asks you to make the cider punch tell her "I'll just screw it up." Aunt tells cousin to "give it a kick." When cousin asks how much liquor to place into punch explain "Well, she never specified the magnitude of the kick."
3:16 pm-Watch cousin pour entire bottle of liquor into a punch bowl.
3:17 pm- Smile
3:25 pm- Strategically place yourself next to the food table during Thanksgiving prayer.
3:27 pm- Put something from every dish on your plate. (I personally like to line my plate with a stuffing "base")
3:39 pm- Blow food load on 1.5 plates.
4:00 pm- Pass out.
7:00 pm- wake up
7:01 pm- Quickly scrounge together leftovers.
7:10 pm- Instigate Pictionary challenge.
7:11-11:00 pm- Dominate.
11:15 pm-1:00 am- Participate in political/economic/social debate with family members. (Discussion typically ending with the phrase "Well I think we ALL can agree that Springsteen kicks total ass")
1:05 am- Cousin asks if you want a bedtime drink: Accept.
Friday-Sunday- Sit in tree and attempt to kill innocent animals.
Sorry, I kind of got carried away there. Just put down your favorite food, mine is sweet potato casserole.
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