This is the quotation engraved on every plaque given to the various recipiants of the McWunkler's All-American award. This month's award goes to:
Scott Sicko, TE, New Hampshire.
You've probably already heard about this guy since last Saturday, specifically right after 32 NFL teams had approximately seven chances to add this large, sure-handed athlete to their respective rosters, declined, and he threw a subsequent hissy fit, a fit which included the words "since I didn't get drafted, I'm not going to try and get signed with a team, I'm going to go focus on my education, which is to be an educator."
Wahh wahhhh, indeed.
I'm sure his agent was like "WHAAAAAAAT?!" But then again, maybe this was a clever ploy, because, boy, did he get attention.
Shortly after he uttered this agent-choking-inducing statement (even though he had a lot of interest from Dallas, Jacksonville, and other NFL teams) limp-wienered, pointy-headed elitists who don't like it when big, dumb, athletic people get paid $40M in guaranteed cheddar started cheering from the Nerd Section about how much of a role model this kid was for shunning the NFL for the sake of education. "Here, here!" they clamored with their leather-elbowed tweeds. "About time some smart person stood up to those big dumb bullies," quothe the dweebs.
Noted KSK punching bag Peter "Who's Ready To Love What I'm About To Say" King said this : "It's nice, in the midst of a weekend when football seems more important than breathing to some, that we have a different kind of role model for our kids. I hope they read everything Scott Sicko just said here."
Because the kind of person I want influencing my spawn is the one who looks NFL teams in the face and says "Meh."
But wait! Sicko uses that above average brain of his (or he was given a late night visit by his agent and his agent's friends) and decided to sign with the Dallas Cowboys. He'll have an opprotunity to make exponentially more money than he could ever make teaching a bunch of kids who won't appreciate him, playing a sport in which delivering a coma-inducing blow to someone's head will get you a raise.
SUCK IT, WALT DISNEY!
Your good teacher making the right, heartfelt decision to stick it out for the kids is back to the drawing board. Looks like the ABC Family fall line-up is still going to be lacking and Sandra Bullock is not here to pull your story out of the gutter. Sicko could very well be making the league-minimum when he could be making about 1/12 of that in a classroom.
BITE ME, PETER KING!
Oh, football seems more important than breathing sometimes and breathing should ALWAYS BE IMPORTANT! D'oh. What a jabroni. Not a big deal if he doesn't want to do that thing that only a small fraction of people will ever be able to do ever. That's not admirable: That's retarded. And loogit! Sicko's not retarded. Now he's a Cowboy, for awhile anyway.
GET DOWN ON THESE, ACADEMIANS/PEOPLE SEARCHING FOR ROLE MODELS!
Nerds! HAHAHAHAHAH YOUR SAVIOR HATH FORSAKEN YOU!
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