Friday, October 29, 2010

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

WOOOOOO! Weekend!!! It's starting to feel a little like fall. The air is brisk, the World Series is on, all is well. This Fun Bag's going to be a little more of a pic dump than usual. What what the hey. It's old school, right?

LeBron hangs with Charlize Theron. You think Charlize would go to Cleveland? You are a-wrong. Charlize is also apparently 7'3".


DeAngelo Hall and Brian Orakpo.


Glen Davis and Mike the Tiger.


JR Smith and 30 jersey-chasers in a limo. As if you couldn't love JR Smith more.


VIDEO BREAK. People are awesome.


Greg Davis' playbook.


DeMarcus Cousins for Rookie of the Year.


When I saw this picture, I assumed that Aaron Brooks was trying to teach Shane Battier how to dougie, and Ron Artest swooped in to fuck everything up.


They are IN THE TORNADO.


Offensive, yes. But it is pretty cool that we live in a country where we can make videos like this.


Tyrus Thomas doing some DDR. You know you want to watch.


Well that was fun. EVERYBODY GET INTO THE HOT TUB.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Dallas Will Harsh Your Buzz

Click to play. It's pertinent.

A lot of people think that Dallas is a lame-ass place filled with people who drive around in their pickup trucks, drinking their domestic beers and listening to talk radio. They also think that we have no concept of the outside world and willingfully ignore the cultures and customs of anywhere outside of the metroplex.

Basically, people like Bunny from Platoon, except without any of the fun.
"Ain't nothin' like a piece of pussy. 'Cept maybe the Indy 500."

As a resident of Dallas, I'm here to say that you are - several nice people excepted - correct. Take it away, Newy Scruggs and the NBCDFW team.

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcbayarea.com/video.


I love that someone asks if it's legal there. Clearly, they don't report on national news.

And to make matters worse, he identifies the perpetrators and let's you know that if you do second-hand smoke marijuana, you will become extremely jumpy. He's like a one-man Reefer Madness.

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcdfw.com/video.



To the good people of San Francisco, I'm here to tell you that if you do come to Texas for the games in Arlington, do not, repeat, do not bring your sticky icky. And as a Rangers fan, please leave any potheads at home as well.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

WE ARE GO FOR THE ASSOCIATION

FUCK YES. THE NBA RETURNS TONIGHT.

Play it cool. Play it cool.

SO! To preview the teams and get people excited, I present NBA Drinking Games: Opening weekend edition!

We got three games tonight. Two on TNT, and one that we probably won't get to see. Let's just dive right in.

-Drink at the beginning of any segment with Charles Barkley. It's the Chuck rule. Get used to it.

FIRST GAME: Miami at Boston, 7:30pm Eastern, TNT
Obviously the most hyped opening game in ages. No need to mention who's playing in this game, because it's all anyone's been able to talk about since the summer. The interesting subplot that people seem to have forgotten is that the Celtics are what people have lambasted the Heat for. Three superstars chose to play together in hopes of winning a title. Now the Celtics are the reigning championship runners-up, while everyone with a voice criticizes the Heat for representing all that is soulless and wrong in professional sports. Might as well get drunk for this one.
-Drink for any wacky introduction display. With Shaq on one team and Bron on the other, there's bound to be one.
-Floor seats for this game are going for $14,000. If they mention that, buy the most expensive bottle of wine from the nearest corner store, and you chug the whole thing out of your finest crystal.
-Drink when they show the celebrities in attendance. Make yourself throw up if they show Dane Cook.
-Drink for every dunk.
-Drink for every LeBron chase-down block.
-Drink for every Nate Robinson 3-pointer. Drink double if it fails to hit the rim.
-Finish your drink if you see Kendrick Perkins smile.
-Drink for every Rondo assist.
-Drink if they somehow involve Carlos Arroyo in a Hispanic Heritage Month promo.
-Pour a little out for Kevin Garnett. Man does he suck now.

NEXT GAME: Phoenix at Portland, 10:00p.m. Eastern
Steve Nash is going to miss Amar'e Stoudemire, and I'm going to miss seeing them play together. Portland really needs to just cut their losses in the Greg Oden experiment, because he's just not going to be useful.
-Take a bong hit and tell us in the comments section where you saw it, because I don't think it's on TV.

NEXT GAME: Houston at Los Angeles Lakers, 10:30p.m. Eastern, TNT
Despite actually getting a playoff victory last year, this Houston team has been on the way down ever since Ron Artest left. Yao Ming coming back just makes me think they're going to suck more. They're great as no-named underdogs, but once a star hits the court, they start to suck in a hurry. The Lakers will be getting their championship rings tonight.
-Drink for every ring handed out. Trust me, it'll make it go faster.
-Drink when they show Kobe's wife.
-When they show a Kardashian, ash a cigarette into a perfume bottle, drink the contents.
-Drink every time someone says, "China." Doesn't matter if it's on TV or in your living room.
-Drink every time Ron Artest does anything that goes on a stat sheet.
-Drink any time an announcer talks about how great the Pau Gasol/Yao Ming match up is. Finish your drink and throw the receptacle at the TV if someone says, "two of the best centers in the game."
-Drink if Brad Miller shoots a 3.
-Drink if Kyle Lowry dunks.
-Drink if Shannon Brown jumps really high.
-Drink if Chase Budinger touches the ball.

Ok. Load up on the booze, flip on the tube, and get ready to ball. Consider this the open thread for the games. If anyone has a good rule, feel free to let us know.

Icehouse's Football Season is Over.

Wow, this weekend was awful.


Whatever, it's not like you were using it anyway.


Yes, something smells like shit, Mack. It's Greg Davis' play calling.

At least all be able to look forward to some huge hits right? Oh. Of course. Fuck everything.

Monday, October 25, 2010

This is a fahhhckin trahhhvestey

2010_1022_Abington_vs_Rockland_Touchdown_Nullified from Norm Caseley on Vimeo.



What the Fack? That's a live fackin bawl!

But honestly, high school announcers are the best.

Monday Morning S--t Storm

World Series is upon us which means, the most badass celebrations of all time. That's right. The beer showers.


Is their anything better than a baseball celebration. Think about it, you win the series and then FRAT PARTY!!! Then reporters come in there trying their best to get an interview and then KAPOW Beer to the face BEEER TOOO THE FAAAAAACE.

Compare this to say, football. Those NFL guys get a bunch of confetti, they stand on a stage. Then they go inside but instead of partying they have to listen to their owner and asshole commissioner tell them how they are proud of them and thank them for making them filthy stinking rich. After that they probably take a shower and listen to rap music. That's typically what happens in a locker room.

So anyway for the shit storm give me the best celebration for sports OR you could choose to improve any celebration.

Make sense? Begin.

Friday, October 22, 2010

We Gotta Make a Change



I haven't written a lot about CFB this year and the main reason is that CFB is absolutely insane.

Honestly.

I mean let's take a quick little looksie at the BCS top 25.

Yeah still 10 undefeated teams. To be sure, 4 of them are guaranteed to lose. Or are they? But still if you just take 30 minutes to look at the teams and schedules you'll see that there is a possibility of Boise/TCU national championship. Not saying it will happen, but the threat is there. What's worse is that there is a scenario where undefeated teams won't have the right to play for the MNC.

I mean honestly, I get it. Alabama lost, but are you really going to choose any team other than maybe Auburn,Oregon, and Oklahoma over them. Maybe the LSU lucky charms? But shit even that's pushing it. Furthermore, we could have a situation where a team with a shit schedule can win the MNC. And yes, I'm looking at you Oregon. Don't get me wrong, Oregon is a great football team, but call me skeptical when the quality win on your schedule is Stanford.....Stanford!!!

You all know by now that I'm in no way an SEC supporter, but it just sucks to be penalized playing in the best conference in the nation. Shit, The SEC SEC West is like a fucking minefield.

It's kinda nice being in the position I'm in because as a VT fan, my hopes and dreams are always demolished in the first two weeks of the season every year so I can just sit back and hope for chaos. You see, the BCS will never go away through politics, or convincing university presidents. No, we need chaos.



I kinda feel like Steve Buschemi in Armageddon. I have a front seat to the end of the world BCS. See I don't want to see a 3-4 team controversy. NO, I WANT 25 2 LOSS TEAMS. COMPLETE AND UTTER CHAOS. So I ask you to join with me in my little endeavor of rooting for everyone to lose. Cast aside your homerisims and biases and join me in the revolution.



(Apologies to Bruce Hornsby, but Tupac's version is just much much better)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

What the hell, Teddy Bruschi?



So wait? The whole NFL thing came down because they were worried about players getting injured.

So I can understand the whole Steve Young/NFL Vs. Millen/Schlereth debate. Specifically, protecting players vs. "this is how the game is played." You know, that makes LOGICAL sense.

But then Teddy Bruschi comes on and I thought he was going to demonstrate a proper tackle Vs. what the NFL considered a malicious hit.

But then we enter Bizzaro world, and Teddy then instructs everyone on how to LEGALLY INJURE defenseless receivers. The proper way to do this is to turn your body sideways and launch yourself into the sternum of the opponent in hopes to "do some damage" to the sternum area.

So remember kids. The proper way to tackle is:

1. Turn your body completely sideways so you cannot see the opponent, that aspect is overrated.

2. Another benefit of this technique is that it exposes the SIDE of your neck which is much more vulnerable to injury and nerve damage.

3. DO NOT use your arms in any way other than keeping them as tight to your body as possible. This will make you more aerodynamic for the most important part of the move.

4. THE LAUNCH. Yes guesstimate (because your head is turned) where your opponents sternum will be do not worry if you bounce off the opponent because the main goal of "break down the door" tackling is to do damage in the sternum area, if you're lucky maybe you can snap a collar bone, perhaps a rib.

Shit, I think Rodney Harrison got uncomfortable watching that.

I do know one thing, Chris Spielman is appalled.

"Wrap up and drive your feet young man....See what you hit, hit what you see"

Sorry to burst everyone's bubble



This has been going around the internets past couple of days. I'll go ahead and let you watch the whole thing, it's quite entertaining.

/Elevator Music

//Gets some water

I know, pretty neat. People were even lauding the officials for the no calls (including the guy doing pullups on the field post, although that doesn't bother me, it's actually very funny)

Anyway too bad the other team won. go riiiiight at the :21 second mark.

I know, I know, I'm the asshole who ruined it. Yep, that is the ballcarrier laying flat on the gound and then lateraling it to his teamate. Shit, the announcer saw it. "And that's the ball game folks"

Oh well too bad, it's ok refs, you just caused a team to LOSE THE GAME!

maybe it was karma for not calling advancing the runner.

Wait? I agree with Mark Schlereth?



I was going to write something about this, but Stank pretty much summed it up better than I could.

And also, like guys like him and Millen or not, at least their the only ones on ESPN actually ripping the NFL a new asshole on this.

Caption Contest!!!

Animated gif edition!!!

Really there is so much to work with here

Dad in the left next to the kid in the green coat:

Dad: Look son, the Native New Yorker prevented that young Latino man on the other team from catching the ball, and now he is celebrating in his native tounge.

Kid: Dad, What's a Goombah?

Dad: I believe he means Italian American

Kid: Thanks, for the tickets Dad, you're the best!

Dad: Oh son I didn't pay for these, They were a gift from my Hedge Fund manager.

Oh, and unfortunately the Jay Marrioti look a like is pretty much figured out, here it is.

Jay look alike: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!

Ok lot's of material. Get after it.

Thanks to Boston lover, Yankee hater, and one hell of an American @ for the gif

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Cry Havoc and Let Slip the Dogs of War



Evidently this is a brawl during a Canadian football contest. It's not the best brawl I've seen, but it may be the funniest. Follow along dear reader.

Pre-play: A Canadian brawl, this can't be That bad eh?

0:10 Yes it is, we apparently have the rare team/fan brawl. The white Team is as stunned as I am. Also note #15 going after the old guy.

0:20 Ahhh another rare treasure, the milk crate SMASH.

0:22 #19 threw something, I can't tell what. I HOPE it's a kicking tee. Let's go with with kicking tee.

0:45 I still don't know what is going on here, I mean the other team is in white and grey (terrible football colors, figures Canada) and the "fans" dominant color is red and black, but it seems the one cat is wearing a hockey jersey (again, Canada)

0:53 The most risky, yet effective move in stadium brawls is performed. The 5 row tackle. It's the end around of stadium brawls. How's the view from chair back heaven Bitch?!

0:56 Obviously the orange team has seen a brawl or two before, they follow the 5 row tackle with the deadly spike stomp. That's a C-C-C-C-COMMMMMMMMBO BREAKER!!!!!!!

1:20 And red sweatshirt gets put out of his misery

Then right after the killshot, underarmour guy jumps off the stands. A kill shot and drop the mic. Like your style underarmour guy.

1:33 Shit, these Canadians are some spike stomping mother fuckers

Before I go on I want to send a message to all the little hobbers out there. Don't ever take your helmet off during a football fight. I mean sure, people can grab your facemask but really, it is an excellent short range offensive tool, not to mention the inherent defensive qualities. A little of me dies every time I see a young player rip off their helmet. Think about your helmet as a Spartan spear, once you lose it you have compromised your protective posture, plus in a player on fan brawl you are suited like a god damn Roman legionare against the Gauls. Now there is only one instance when losing your helmet is justified.....

1:35 THAT is when you lose a helmet. That might be the greatest helmet toss in history (Turley included) What an accurate death blow.
(I really want that to be underarmour guy, let's go with underarmour guy)

1:42 Oh finally someone tries to break things up, too bad it's the Canadian Refs with their funny numbers

1:55, you'll have to go back to 1:45 to get the whole story but I believe they were fighting over a coat?

2:36 I believe that is red sweatshirt, the recipient of the 5 row tackle and spike stomping.

2:45 Quick, caption contest in the comments!!!!

But really I have no idea either

And as quickly as it started our young gladiators redeploy to their bench, tending to the wounded and gloating at their vanquished foes.

The one thing that gets me is NOBODY stopped this brawl, it just ended. Perhaps I'm used to our American brawls where coaches and police are quick to respond, however it seems that our neighbors to the North engage in the ancient and sacred ways of Football brawling where a fight to the death is not only a way of life, but an honor.

I wish I knew more about this battle between the oranges and the fans, however that is the blessing and curse of having a raw Canadian video feed.

I would like to end this by having everyone take a moment of silence to remember the sacrifices made on this fateful night. Especially for the men like sweatshirt, the red who sacraficed his body for the honor of the fans. But let us also not forget the heroic actions of the valiant oranges. Led by #55 the strong, #19 the wise, and especially underarmour guy. Who, inspite of the ravaging hordes of fans delivered a haymaker and a helmet toss, all while instructing his soldiers to stomp the head and chest of sweatshirt the red with metal tipped football spikes. Generations from now the oranges will look back on this day and say "who will stand here and fight with underarmour guy, who will push the fans back into the cold graves of the upper deck, Who will protect this house!?"




Somebody needs to be kicked in the Nenads


I like the initiative here, Sports Illustrated. Let's put some up-and-comers on the cover instead of the Heat, like everyone is expecting. After all, the Thunder took the Lakers to 7 in the last playoffs, and Durant led the league in scoring.

But Thabo Sefolosha and Nenad Krstic? The entire Thunder roster is stocked with flavor. I'll allow Thabo (though he's been pretty uncool as of late) but Nenad should never appear on a cover of Sport Illustrated. First of all, look at him. He's got a face that only a mother can love. A blind mother.

Why didn't you get Russell Westbrook or Jeff Green? You didn't ask them, did you.

SEAU RULES!!!!!!!

SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!! SEAU RULES!!!

Barstool NYC is great.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Monday Morning S--t Storm

How this topic hasn't come up is beyond me.



Best multi sport athlete, Or someone who could potentiality be a multi sport athlete.

Go go go go go go go go go

Friday, October 15, 2010

Friday Afternoo-- ah, screw it.

I know I haven't done one in a while, but...

Screw it. Gone fishin'.






I'm actually going to the Rangers game tonight. FACK THE YANKEES!

Images via The Icehouse

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Last night, international basketball was more hood than the NBA

Exhibit A: Kevin Garnett got ejected from a preseason game last night after telling a ref that he got elbowed in the throat (first technical foul), then laughing about getting a technical foul (second technical foul). Up yours, new Tech rules.


Exhibit G: This insanity between China and Brazil.


Could this be a sign of the apocalypse? In Icehouse's view, almost certainly yes.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Chris Andersen needs to get back on the drugs is sobriety makes him do this.



"GUESS HOW MUCH THIS TATTOO COST!!!!"

Monday, October 11, 2010

Monday Morning Sh*t Storm!

Lattimer and I, whilst sipping only the finest Colombian coffee mixed with only the finest Persian rum, were discussing on Friday the plight of coaches who leave College Football for the National Football League, only to come back to to the college ranks. Carroll, Saban, Spurrier, Petrino, Holtz, etc. The roster is lengthy, but for every transition back toward college, there is a tinge of demotion associated. "That coach, he just couldn't cut it in the NFL." "Some guys just don't have what it takes." All that jive.

I say an EMPHATIC JIVE! to denote my scrupulousness.

Lattimer and I agree: It's not a degree a capability that is associated with great coaches on the different levels of play, it's just...different. You can't say Urban Meyer isn't a good coach, but you also can't say that you could see his bizzaro world offense working in the NFL. Saban, too, is awesome, and did as well as anyone cold have done with that Miami team, but hey, "had to go back to college because he couldn't hack it" - slash - his coaching style is one of strict discipline, and you can't have that in the league.

But I digress. And we did say ANY LEVEL. That means there are fantastic coaches, NAY GREAT COACHES, who work well for DIII colleges, high schools, Jr. High, and Pop Warner leagues. I'm not sure if there are some pro coaches who couldn't coach a Pop Warner team to a touchdown.

SO THE SHIT STORM:

Best and Worst Pro Coach to Coach Little League/Pop Warner Football. Include reasons. Include savvy.

Mine? Best Coach: Andy Reid, because you know the best part about winning a big game is the coach taking the team out for a pizza party and YOU KNOW DAMN WELL Reid can throw an AWESOME pizza party. Worst Coach: Norv Turner, because...well, look at him. Children would be frightened by a man who looks like his face caught on fire, melted, and someone put the flames out with a golf cleat.

Storm on. Storm on. Storm on. Storm until your dreams come true.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Cheering on the NFL

I know it has been happening all month, but I have to say I love the addition of pink into the NFL. It's fun and cool to watch, and adds some much needed spice to all of the uniforms. I think it is great they are supporting Breast Cancer Awareness month in such a visible way. 

The only thing better would be if they added these pink "spjangely" footballs into the mix:

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

You're a dead man, Wladimir


I'll punch you right in your stupid schnoz. You won't even see it coming. You ugly bastard, I'll slap your ass around and choke you with an apron as if you just burnt the meatloaf.

I was telling everybody that Hayden was going to be hot when she was in Remember the Titans. What?! Yeah, it was weird, so what? She IS hot. I was right! LIKE ALWAYS.

Anyway, Wlad, I'll probably be doing you a favor, rearranging your face like that. Might even knock some sense into what is probably a stupid thick skull of yours. SHE'S MINE, YOU HEAR?!

Ah, I'm just playing with you. I'm blissfully still in love with Julia Mancuso. So what kind of work you in, Wlad?

/Googles "Wladimir Klitschko"

Oh. You know I was just messing around, right?

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

ESPN College Football Analyst Trevor Matich Declared Legally Dead Four Years Ago

BRISTOL, Conn. - Sources behind the scenes at ESPN have confirmed that college football analyst and former NFL and BYU lineman Trevor Matich, despite being hired by the sports broadcasting giant two years ago, was declared legally dead no less than four years ago.

"Yeah, I mean, it's pretty clear to me," said fellow ESPN analyst and physician Dr. Jerry Punch. "He's got absolutely no brain activity. Merely repeating what he sees on film and enunciating it too harshly, with no concept of tone or diction...open and shut case.

"Oh yeah," concluded Dr. Punch. "He had a temperature of 66 degrees and no pulse whatsoever. A lot of drool when he's talking, too."

The incident was reported after records were found that Matich was hit by an oncoming bus, launching him into a nearby river, but not before he was hit by an oncoming speedboat. Cause of death was due to drowning due to sinking as well as blunt force trauma, none of which was to his brain.

Matich said he couldn't confirm or deny that he had been killed four years ago, and instead insisted we look at game film of the Oregon-Stanford game that showed conclusively that Oregon was a more physical team, despite the obvious double-digit deficit the Cardinal had.

ESPN has refused to comment on the life status of Lou Holtz and insist that Mark May is just a huge asshole.

And now, a post on women's basketball.


On some level, this is true. There are people out there that prefer to see fundamentals and the plays and everything. I mean, look at how popular college basketball is. Of course, the fundamentals actually AREN'T better in the WNBA or college, the players in each league just aren't good enough to be creative or flashy, therefore there are no distractions.

Personally, I support women's basketball. If/when anybody here has a daughter, you are really going to prefer that she has role models to idolize that don't involve skimpy clothes and sex tapes. As much as I love to watch women's beach volleyball, when I have a daughter (it's inevitable. Karma's a bitch), I'm going to prefer watching Diana Taurasi with her. Trust me on this one, everybody. You don't want a daughter that thinks the only way to make her daddy happy is to have horrible body ideals and to dress slutty. Chicks with daddy issues make the sluttiest strippers.

But back to hoops. Everybody knows that the best thing in basketball is the slam dunk. There's really no question about it. You could go up to anyone who says that they "prefer fundamentals" and ask them if slam dunks are awesome, and they have to be all, "well, yeah." It'd be like asking an anti-war protester if a tactical SEAL team insertion by HALO jump to have a sniper with a Barret .50 cal put a round through an engine block, stopping the truck, and then the team closing in and taking all passengers in the truck prisoner with zero casualties is awesome. They would be all, "well, yeah."

Which is why FIBA is considering lowering the rims for the women's game. That's one very lame jump for women's basketball popularity, one big step backwards for women's equality.

But of course, we all know that women aren't equal anyway, when athletics are concerned (compare all track and field world records and tell me which events women score better in. Don't worry, I'll wait). Here's looking forward to some OMG funks from the chick game. They'll be unimpressive, to be sure, but what the hell. Hopefully it'll at least lead to some sustainability in the women's game. For the sake of future women everywhere. They need better role models.

Monday, October 4, 2010

The 2010 Cardinals reflect on the Season

Cardinals Clubhouse



Albert: Ho K guys da season dint go as we ha planned so I tink we need to really reevaluate who we are as a team.

I like to start dis meeting out as a prayer.

Yadi grab my hand.

Yadi Whatever you say mang.

Albert Dear Lord Jesus we ask......

whispering

Hey Albert

Big guy

Hey Albert

El Hombre

Albert
Albert
Albert
A L B E R T PUJOLS

Albert WHAT MANG!!!



Boog HEY MAN WHAT'S UP!? Hey, will you sign my baseball card?

Albert Mang we are trying to have prayer.

Boog Yeah man, talkin to Jesus, love that guy. Anyway I was just thinking that you could sign this baseball card for me and then maybe this whole stack of memorabilia so I can hang it in my room. Along with my fathead posters.

Albert Mang jus stop talking, jus stop.

Ok does anybody have anything to say? Matt?

Holliday What uhhh hey do you guys know a good gold hot tub guy?

Albert mang, Franklin?


Franklin so tear me open but beware there's things inside without a care, but the hurt still stains me.....so hold me until I'm clean.

IT GRIPS YOU SOOOOOOO BAAAAAAAAAD!
/turns off amp

oh what?

Albert Kyle?



McClellan FUCK I JUST HATE THIS SHIT, I JUST LOOK AT THE BATTER AND I GET SO....SO.....ANGRY!!!! FUCK WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE PLAYOFFS FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

/bangs head against wall repeatedly.

Albert Adam?


Wainers Chillin Bro

Albert Chris?



Carpenter Well when you look back on it we really didn't play consistently and....

Boog Chris
hey Chris
Cy young,
Carp
Carp
Carp
Carp
Carp

Chris WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT YOU ADHD FUCKHEAD

/boog pulls out baseball card

No I won't sign your baseball card, in fact I don't even know why you're still on the team. you have two jobs. TWO FUCKING JOBS. Play defense, and hit at least .700 OPS. What did you do? Your non attentive ass had 17 errors and hit for .573 OPS do you know what that makes you? That makes you Ken fucking Hamlin. No, not the football player.

Albert shhhhhhh skip is coming.



LaTony Oh hey it's the slap dick gang. Let me tell you. You guys are a bunch of fucking winners. I mean it takes a special group to beat the best teams in the NL and lose two out of three to the Pittsburgh Pirates.

THE FUCKING BUCCOS!

I am a god damn genius, i have fucking mountains of information that you couldn't even begin to comprehend, I know Zambrano's tendencies when he pitches at night, after two shits, 60 degrees on a fucking waning moon, I....

What, what the fuck are you looking at?



Colby meh

LaTony Ohhhhh whats the matter? Did mommy and daddy not love you enough as a child? Do you have awot of pwessuwe on you?

Colby well actually....

LaTony WELL FUCK YOUR PRESSURE. I'm here trying to win championships, I'm trying to prove that I'm not only the most intellectual man in baseball, but also human existence. I DRINK FINE WINE, I SAVE FUCKING PUPPIES!!! You all better do some soul searching this offseason because i dont know if I'll be back given that my shortstop has ADHD, my relievers have anger management problems, and our future center fielder hangs out with the Khalil crowd. Oh and fuck you skip, for being so god damn normal. I mean we lost to the Reds. The god damn Reds.

None of this is directed at you Albert.

Albert Noted mang

LaTony Fuck this Dave, let's go back to California.

Duncan Yep

Boog Hey man Cali sounds awesome let's road trip....

Albert Shut up, let's go Yadi, Diedra is making chicken and beans.

Yadi Ok mang.

Boog So Chris about that card....

Peyton Hillis Groggily Eats Bowl of Nuts and Bolts Instead of Traditional Cinnamon Toast Crunch


CLEVELAND, OH - Browns RB Peyton Hillis, groggy after a late-start this morning, reportedly at three pounds of nuts, bolts, washers, and other assorted bits of hardware, having mistaken the metal pieces for his morning bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

"Aw, dammit," said Hillis, a bruising 230lbs. back who was traded from Denver and has become the workhorse for the Browns. "I musta been on auto-pilot this morning. Ate some metal stuff again."

Hillis admitted that he realized his mistake about halfway through his bowl of metalware, but had "already used most of the milk and woulda hated to waste it like that." He also stated that eating three pounds of food for breakfast was not out of the ordinary, and that once he, Coach Eric Mangini and GM Mike Holmgren at 140 lbs. during one mini-camp breakfast.

Monday Morning S--t Storm


As you can tell we're wrestling fans here at GRH.

It makes sense because we grew up during the two golden years of sports entertainment, the late 80's/early 90's and of course the late 90's or what I like to call, middle school.

As a result of all this exposure every wrestling fan has at one point or another created their own character.

It's natural.

So on this shit storm we're looking for your made up wrestling character. Obviously you'll have a name, but it is highly encouraged to provide information such as, if you are a face or a heel, finishing moves, ring attire, entourage, theme song, and of course a background story should all be included.

Ok Begin.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Friday afternoon Fun Bag!!!!




Woooooooooo you losers go ahead ride the school bus, I'll be on the cool bus!!!

God this weekend is going to be great.

First and foremost Icehouse is attending the annual gathering of insufferable fan bases. You may know this as the Red River Shootout/Texas State Fair.

In the interest of Fairness I will present videos embarrassing both fan bases


I posted it before but it needs the Hobbers need to see it again. UT of Course!!!!


Continuing with our wrestling theme, The Bushwackers. Raise your hand if you marched around School like this.


This is a couple weeks old, but it's totally worth watching the whole thing.


I don't plan on seeing "The Social Network" Stovall says it's pretty good. I think this is better.


If you haven't had a chance you REALLY need to start watching The League. Comes on right after It's Always Sunny.


Finally, I refuse to like or enjoy anything performed by Jimmy Fallon. However, He has the Roots so that's how I justify posting things by him.


Ok gang, have a good one, stay off the short bus.

Recycled Post: Dallas Has Gotten Considerably Uglier and Stupider

Icehouse wrote this post last year. Some of it is specific to the 2009 Red River Shootout, but most of it is still relevant. Enjoy.

Yeah. Oklahoma fans remind me of the McPoyles.

So the Red River Shootout is this weekend. I live in Dallas (against my wishes), and the city has been overrun in the past 36 hours with the Oklahoma faithful. They are a bunch of weird fucks, that's for sure.

Yeah, I know I'm a homer. No, I don't care. But looking at these people objectively, there is something off about them. They're just... I don't know. I'm sure they're nice, I'm sure they're good people on the inside. I wouldn't invite them to any party I was throwing, is all.

Their mascot is the Sooner. As in, the people that settled Oklahoma got to the land "sooner" than everyone else. One things: Oklahoma became a state in 1907. Yeah. 1907. As in, Seventy-one years AFTER Texas became its own country. These guys are first and foremost, later than the surrounding settlers. Second of all, they're some fucking quitters. You dipshits stopped your covered wagons in Oklahoma? Were you aware that Colorado was the next state over? Then Utah, California, the Pacific Ocean, and a whole host of other places that are nicer to live than Oklahoma?

And don't get me started on the 'horns down' hand signal. It's just retarded. However, I would like to thank OU fans for the money they give Texas when they purchase Longhorn stickers for the sole purpose of putting them upside down on their not-as-jacked-up trucks.

About the game, specifically. Disney is going balls out to talk about how awesome it is that Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford are buddies.

That's all well and good, I'm all for friendship and peace. But, I DON'T WANT MY QUARTERBACK FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY! This is war, son! You need that killer instinct! You need to be putting your facemask on someone's chin without hesitation! You need to fire with dead-eye accuracy and without remorse, just like when you shoot varmints!

I hate this weekend.